one day in the life of ...

2007-04-26T19:15:00.000-04:00

Hello World! I reckon through my 5 years of University I wrote a "Hello World!" program in about 20 odd programmings languages. That really only has meaning to those that know what I am talking about.

So I've graduated. That's cool. And everyone left. I'm staying in Waterloo for some reason. It really hasn't set in that life moves on. It's been a great 5 years and I couldn't ask for more from my friends. I had a lot of good times and met a lot cool people. Memories and friends forever, never forget people.

Anyways, please stay tuned for more regular updates about what is going on in my life and I will attempt to write more often than I have in the past year or so.

Cheers!

2006-01-12T16:17:00.000-05:00

Q. What do you get if you take a stroll through Wilfrid Laurier Campus?

A. An Undergraduate degree.

2006-01-11T13:35:00.000-05:00

4.5 years for murder and parole in 2 years. (View Article)

Life sentence for throwing a gernade 100 feet away from George Bush who is behind a bulletproof protective shield. (View Article)

Now we wonder why we don't have faith in our legal punishment system. What a load of horse shit.

Here's my Idea. If you kill someone: at least 20 years (no parole). If you kill someone with a gun (or gernade): at leat 50 years (no parole).

In other news, if you are male and over 15 years of age you can can be fined if you don't carry a condom. (View Article)

2005-12-15T17:03:00.000-05:00

alright, so it'sbeen ... a long time. it's also been a long time since i have been drunk. and since i'm on my 4th heineken ... coincendence?

fuck no.

anyways, i'm going to saudi arabia. greeeeeeat. just fucking great. which means i need to fly ... for a long time. which sucks. but they give me free beer. umm i like beer. yes that's right. i do. so i am gonna drink. get on the plane pass out ... and _hopefully_ wake up in saudi arabia. that'd be nice. too bad i'll wake up in amsterdamn. get drunk again ... passout ... get on a plane. get drunk AGAIN ... wake up in the middle east. that's what i call traveling. (with one 'l' not two). so what if i drink? is that BAD?

well i prolly wont update until i am in waterloo and living with lynn-er. that's right. so if u miss me write me an email. anyone who DOESN'T write me doesnt care about me and therefore i shall never talk to again.

that's an ultimatum in case you didnt know ...

anyways, this is my 2005 "wish you a meery chrismakah and a happy new year!" ... i love you all ... even if you dont write me.

bye!!

2005-11-23T13:11:00.000-05:00

hey guys. so what's new? i don't remember. calgary won 8 straight games. there was the wolf attack. i accidently called 9-1-1. i went to kingston. i played ice hockey. i came to work. i made banana muffins.

blah blah blah. all boring shit. who cares?

2005-10-26T12:20:00.000-04:00

people are dumb.

plain simple and stupid. No wonder people can’t drive …

I hear people saying that we are going to win the lottery because we got lots and lots of people who “split” tickets.

they think they are going to win the lottery. right. do they not realize the chances??

you have a better chance of being struck by lightening then choosing 6 numbers between 1-49 that are the same ... let's do the math

49! - 43! = 10,068,347,520 ... so a 1 in 10 billion chance. i've read that the chances of being struck by lightning are about 1 in 600,000 or 700,000 ... let's say 1 million to be safe ...

million to 1 ...
10 billion to 1 ... every single person on the planet could buy a lotto 6/49 ticket and a winner would not be guaranteed...

by my math you are 10,000 times more likely to be struck by lightning then winning the lottery. and by the way how many people do you know that have been struck by lightning?

2005-10-24T12:31:00.000-04:00

this is in reponse to joel's post: http://rollerz.blogspot.com/2005/10/jaw-dropper.html

first of all, i disagree with and cannot understand joel's infatuation with this article when there have been multiple shootings in the past few days. and all this damn gun violence. i cannot see how one can be worried about a few free speaking people in california.

let it be known, i am not a racist. i hate everyone equally. but there are no laws against branding cattle with a swastika, wearing a swastika belt buckle, painting your truck with a swastika sign, or singing songs about white people.

freedom is a wonderful thing that many people do not covet and completly understand. the freedom to call Paul Martin a fucking moron is something that not everyone can do. In a lot of countries if you speak out against the so called leader, you can kiss your ass goodbye.

if these people so choose to live the life they lead, let them be. so long as they don't have concentration camps setup.

i don't think this is any worse than snoop dogg or eminem. in fact, i would fathom to say that this is actually better. gansta's rap about rape, drugs, shooting other thugs, and other devious tasks ... the sad thing is ... they generally commit such crimes to boot.

if these white people want to sing songs, let them. just don't let them do what they said.

this is the least of my worries. this is what politicians love to see in the papers. because it's such an "outrage" that people like joel focus more on it than the 2000 dead soliders in iraq. or the poverty level. or the crime rates. or the sponsorship scandal. anything to divert public attention that makes them look bad is good for a politician. and joel has fallen right into their trap. he's so over-concerned with a bunch of blond haired blue eyed singers singing about whiteness that he's overlooked many bigger underlying problems that our society faces.

now, i do not, by any shape or form, endorse such songs. but as a free willing civilian, i cannot reprimend it anymore than i can to anyone else selling music or a writing a book. so be it.

2005-10-15T11:35:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday Jen!

2005-09-24T20:45:00.000-04:00

i fucking hate allergies. and yes hate is a strong word and i just used. i used the f word. if you don't like it close the damn window.

my allergies are the worst. my nose is like friggin' niagra falls ... just gushing out 30,000 cubix liters per second. grand i say.

but boy am i glad for those scientists that figured out how to lace kleenex with aloe. mmmm soft and oily. this way my nose doesn't get worn down to abso-fucking-lutely nothing.

did i ever tell you i went to carp?

what do the poor have, the rich can't get, and you'll die if you eat it?

2005-09-11T18:58:00.000-04:00

well first and foremost i must apologize to lynn for not re-commenting (replying to a comment obviously) ... so sorrrrrrry lynn.

can i ask anyone what the flying fuck the Canadian Canoe Museum is?

http://www.canoemuseum.net/

like holy shit batman. i'd understand a boat museum. but just canoes? over 600 canoes? i dont get it. how many canoes can there be.

2005-09-04T10:51:00.000-04:00

well what have i done since august 11th? i wrote an exam. bleck. let's not go there.

ohhh kay. i saw jen. this is good. i went to carp. and ottawa. saw lynn ... met katie. ohhh and went to stittsville. great.

carp was good. pizzeria was busy. ice cream was good. how can it be bad? lynn and i had some adventures in the graveyard ... and hopping fences and what not. it was a grand time. we went to jack ass tors to eat with katie. finally met katie. she mulligany.

i've been buying lots of stuff lately. a dart board, a drill, a telescope. other cool stuff.

i spent two weeks at a cottage with my parents after ottawa. jen came for a week. good times of doing nothing.

allergies are the devil and should burn and rot in the eternal pits of hell. damn you allergies! *shakes fist violently*

i start work ... on mon ... tuesday. i have a good job. i like it. thye pay me. it's a good relationship.

so aloha to all. i'm out.

2005-08-11T14:27:00.000-04:00

h'ok. so like i drove to waterloo from toronto yesterday. and it started raining. now for some reason, people seem to think that when it rains ... you must immediately drive at 30 km/h and turn o 4 way flashers. fuckin' idiots.

in other news, gasoline is expensive. fuck fuck fuck.

i don't like this course i study for. it boring shit.

summer should be good. sit in boat, catch fish, drink beer, eat ice cream sandwiches, and pay outrageous price for gasoline.

i like to do nothing. who is with me?

2005-07-23T21:48:00.000-04:00

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,blue skies from pain. Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?A smile from a veil?Do you think you can tell? And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts? Hot ashes for trees?Hot air for a cool breeze?Cold comfort for change? And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?How I wish, how I wish you were here. We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,Running over the same old ground. What have you found? The same old fears.Wish you were here.

2005-07-12T15:28:00.000-04:00

warning: i take no responsibilty for any of this. fake50 enterprizes nor cmw is responsible. jdz(student id: 20096254, just in case you confuse him with someone else) is 100% responsible.

blogger shit the bed and lost my post. fuck. ok it went like this....

fuck. ADD go away ... k. think. this just isn't working ... thinking that is....

h'ok. so this morning was a life fulfilling moment. i didn't know who at the time, nor did who know me ... but it was ... inpsiring ... and oh so real.

it went like this. the phone ran ... i meant rang ... so i pick up:

me: "whooooooo the fuck are youuuuuuuu?" [robin williams style, repreSENT!]
who: "hii, um, is lynn *cough* rose *cough* there please?"
me [to lynn]: "lynnnnnnnnnnn, it's your mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"

right. so i thought it was lynn's mom cuz it's lynn birthday day today and yeh. so that's what i thought. but boy did i thunk wrong.

low and behold it was none other than the one and only KATIE MULLIGAN.

that's right. like the golf mulligan. 'cept it's a katie mulligan. kinda like a katie re-do. i don't quite know why, or how, or where, or even what a katie re-do is. but it's cool.

and she said ONE line to me. and ahhhhh my life is complete. thank you katie re-do. and may i rest in peace.

katie, stop pretending to be lynn's mom. and by lynn i mean rose.

ohh happy birfday day lynn. she's 21 ... i mean 22. I AM 21.

we love you lynn.

2005-07-03T19:22:00.000-04:00

life's been busy. wonderland. cottage for a bit. writing an operating system. nothing out of the ordinary.

i've been building my CF-105 model airplane. that's the avro arrow. if you say "what's the avro arrow" with a dumb look. just move south, you'll fit right in.

pink floyd reunited for the first time in like 15 years (all of them) and put on a kicking show in london england. go pink floyd. i am now the proud owner of every single album. that is quite an accomplishment. in other news? i don't know.

happy canada day!

2005-06-16T14:44:00.000-04:00

brought to you in part by fake50 enterprizes

"alrightare my maybe-also-drunk fans ready for more delight?
so i went to my first metalhead show. ROCK! i didn't hear you... ROCK!!!that's better
wow, i think i should put aside my rapping career for one that revovles around rocking. ROCKi think it's because i've found that i dig girls who dig rockROCK
my clock says 3:45. time to make a wish...i wish that i could chill the fuck out... please. fuckin christ, let me chill. i'm so far gone i might discover a new continent by accident. and rape and pillage the fuck out of it. i bet i convince W bush it's a good idea in ten secondes or less. or let's gang bang his poor daughters for breast cancer. revive their godawful genepool. nah, i bet my little captain spermy would have the good sense to retreat when they see that kinda foul territory ahead.
i need to sleeeeeeeep. day off tomorrow. sleep in long time. many moons. why does the red man say "how"?and why does the po-po man say "please drop your weapon, sir. and tell that Bush daughter to get your nuts out of her mouth. it's a matter of national security..."
this has been brought to you, with help from allah, by sauza tequila, budweiser, camel cigarettes, yayo, and whatever the fuck else i took tonight, and especially, YOUR MOM.
-b dub"

copyright fake50 enterprizes (b-dub)

2005-06-11T20:21:00.000-04:00

I claim that any natural number can be completely and unambiguously identified in fourteen words or less. Here a "word" means an ordinary English word, such as you might find in a dictionary.

You know this can't be true. After all, there are only finitely many words in the English language, so there are only finitely many sentences that can be built using fourteen words or less.

So it can't possibly be true that every natural number can be unambiguously described by such a sentence. After all, there are infinitely many natural numbers, and only finitely many such sentences!

Yet, I can prove it so:

1. Suppose there is some natural number which cannot be unambiguously described in fourteen words or less.

2. Then there must be a smallest such number. Let's call it n.

3. But now n is "the smallest natural number that cannot be unambiguously described in fourteen words or less".

4. This is a complete and unambiguous description of n in fourteen words, contradicting the fact that n was supposed not to have such a description!

5. Since the assumption (step 1) of the existence of a natural number that cannot be unambiguously described in fourteen words or less led to a contradiction, it must be an incorrect assumption.

6. Therefore, all natural numbers can be unambiguously described in fourteen words or less!

Alas, I have made a mistake, is thy so smart as it find it?

2005-06-09T22:26:00.000-04:00

so ... today. was summery. BBQ, swimming (*neener neer* lynn!), slurpees, and ... beer.

and lynn and i discovered the 7/11 has a slurpee nazi. we were getting our slurpees, and she came back and gave us an evil stare. i didn't see her, but but but lynn says so. damn slurpee nazis.

here is my latest thoughts regarding democracy:

Democracy is a mere image that allows citizens to perceive that they have a choice, when really it is the politicians that make the decisions. It's a matter of statistics that the particular group of politicians is a gaussian distribution of the 300 million Americans, thus it appears that the people get what they want.

2005-06-05T11:36:00.000-04:00

i love this world. it takes all types. we have the saudi's who pre-tense on a strict islamic culture and law the ONLY place in the world where women cannot drive. frankly i don't blame them. there is something called peripheral vision. Which is nulled out when you were a rag wrapped around your face. And I have seen Saudi ladies drive, it's not driving. It's some form of getting in a car and being invincible, i.e. no sense of anything around them.

versus the ...

US (not 'us') ... the closest they come to having a culture is 3 month old yogurt left in the fridge.

then there is canuckistan. where we harvest every type of person in the world. terrorist or not!

just don't forget everybody's different and i haven't changed.

2005-05-28T15:59:00.000-04:00

hi.

why the ... nevermind. Nothing better than spending a saturday in a stinky ass CS lab writing a damn operating system. totally fun. the only thing that could be funner is being one of the other losers in here. 'cuz at least i am cool, right?

uh huh.

i am hungry and i dont want to write anymore of this. so i am gonna go. i uhhh hope you enjoyed this short post. i might write some more later. who knows.....................

in other news:
i am done.

2005-05-13T14:47:00.000-04:00

That's it. Life wins.

2005-05-06T13:01:00.000-04:00

colin - 1 : school - 0.

I conquered this week like Ghangis Khan. Take that school!

But I admit defeat to the Bomber on Wednesday. 'Cuz Bomber fucked me up. Joel too. Ohh and don't forget Lynn. I did manage to obtain 23 poker chips. but I need more. so give'em up people. or not.

let me tell you about my courses this term. i take four.

cs350 - operating systems. the prof is like a machine, he just puts a slide up. stares at it for 30 seconds. re-iterates in own words. but he speaks english.

cs341 - taught by an ex-KGB agent (aka a russkie). i'm not racists. because i dont single out one particular race. i just dislike everything, including myself. good class thus far.

afm101 - holy easy. it's like 3rd grade math ... over and over again. except they give us twice the time they did in 3rd grade.

spcom223 - it's like. public speaking. you do speechs. its fun.

so thats two arts courses (go arts) and two CS coruses. I think I qualify as a fulltime arts student. that rocks.

other than that. i am going to t'rana this weekend to get my car. so i'll see y'all on sunday.

.

!

?*

2005-04-22T20:36:00.000-04:00

yooooo. wooooord. wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy coool.

whats up my friends? long time no talk? i dont know. depends on who is reading this. and if i dont know you, then fuck off you. wait a minute HELLLOOOO friend.

this is a test. i repeat. this is a test. who the fuck am i kidding?

happy one year kiel and katie. HOORAH!!

jen and i have been together for 1 year 4 months and 2 days.

my car is a piece of shit. like the adam sandler song. its needs new lots of things. meh still cheaper then a new car.

i am in kingston right now. i drove a stolen dodge neon here. i stole it from enterprise we rip you off car rental bitches.

may i interrupt the regular programming for this important news flash: where in steve smiths name have the past 4 months gone? let me re-phrase that. *clears throat* where in george bush's name have the past three years gone?

wait that's not right. how am i 21 years old? what the the hell hell happened to two? did i miss being two? i dont remember being two? do you remmeber me being two? why was i not aware that i was two? fuck people why did no one tell me that i was two? i wish i was two still. then i wouldn't have to get up to go to the bathroom. what a life. you sleep. shit your pants. burp all over people. put spaghetti on your head. crawl around pulling the dogs tail and peoples hair. what a life. damn two year olds have it set.

mind you so do dogs. a dog sleeps, eats, shits, licks it nuts and repeats as necessary. that is a life cycle people.

getting up, showering, going to work, working, taking lunch, working, going home, making dinner, eating dinner, cleaning up after dinner, cleaning teeth, sleep.

fuck that. joel and i have it done pat: sleep, eat, shit. repeat as necessary.

now who is with me? yeh i figured no one. and joel's A-D-D should be kicking in about now. how's the wheelie chair joel?

well i hope this was informational to you all. actually i dont give a shit.

have a good weekend.

2005-03-24T17:16:00.000-05:00

so i admit.

blogs are soo passé. that's right. i said it. toastitos!

you know it's bad when "Microsoft Internet Exploer version 7" has it's own damn blog.

http://blogs.msdn.com/ie/archive/2005/02/15/373104.aspx

that being said i will post.

2005-03-07T16:41:00.000-05:00

hi. so it's been a month. i know. i am sorry. and for any of those who are emotionally physically mentally or otherwise affected my absence please email me and we will work out some sort of compesation. which will most likely be a firm kick in the arse. enjoy!

so i turned 21 sometime not too long ago. like a few days back when. i got made fun of for being old. fuck off joel. i am now legal to do whatever the hell i want where i want and get caught and thrown in jail. yep that's freedom baby. what a pair of docs. get it? no? dumbass.

so today is official make fun of your friend day. so yeh. go ahead and make as much fun of that funny looking person that you see glaring back at you. no, it's not just a relfection of you. you are the funny looking person. unless you have an LCD monitor then my joke is just crap. so all the LCD loving people (like me) go ... blow goats or something.

well the work term is more than half over. which means spring is on the way (march 20), which also marks jen and i's 1.4 anniversary. i love ya! but i wish i was getting more money then i am. cuz i can always use more money. money is like ... like ... money. you can just never have enough. even when you have it all. or not. i was thinking about it. it would suck to be all rich and stuff. cuz then you wouldn't have the same apppreciation for stuff and you wouldn't have time for family and friends and all that good stuff. so go being poor!

well i am off for the day. bye!

2005-02-12T14:18:00.000-05:00

well hello. it's that time again. yep. what am i talking about?

i don't know. could it be that i am in kingston with jen? could be that i am actually writing a blog? or could it be that in 18 days i am going to be legal to do whatever the hell i want anywhere in the world. including the most southern province ... i believe it's called the yew ess of eh.

big two one. whoooop deee friggin' doo. so i think i will just stay in univeristy forever. cuz that way, i can be like a kid forever. and everyone knows that colin wants to be young forever. cuz being old just sucks. especially with jen only being 18. she can't even go to a bar in canada yet. unless she goes to kay-beck, alberta, or that manitoba moose place. being young rocks.

anyways, my "professional" hockey career is coming to an end. five cames left of junior. then i am done. to the beer leagues for me. ohhh well. no NHL career for me. altho i am sure i would play for 1 million dollars and not get greedy and want 10. c'mon gary. let me play. bastard NHL people. having this lockout shit. like get over it. you are all over paid. 50% of everything should be donated to africa. pay the bills. and then the players. weyne gretzky was never paid anything like they are now. gretzky made like 4 million. blasphemy i say.

anyways i am out

2005-01-22T23:58:00.000-05:00

you know it's cold when your boogers freeze and cause you to go into cardiac arrest. damn it's cold out. and i hafta drive home tomorrow! brrrrrr. and then play ice hockey. brrrr. damn i hate the cold. cold sucks my asss. like way mucho.

well i shall be the first to let you know that lynn and i have found a place for this summer. it's apparently very nice and i am looking forward to setting it up with lynn. and marg may be the third person living with us. altho we don't know yet. so hopefully it's not some crazy random as person. cuz that would be scary. lynn and i want our own pad that we can deck out. and we have similar tastes. so it's gonna be a good summer. and close to campus. don't forget that. close to campus is goood good good. cuz i am lazy.

i bought some new stuff today. and some stuff for jen. 'twas fun fun fun INDEED!!

work is going good. i am enjoying the job quite a bit. lots of work to do and learning about stuff which is good. and i got paid. w00t!

anyways, late now. hockey tomorrow. must sleeeeeep.

cheers my companions.

2005-01-11T19:17:00.001-05:00

work is going quite well. very busy and lots of work to do. hockey is going good. i am enjoying myself and that is alll what matters. my pimp-mobile is doing quite well. it has some nice fuzzy dice thanks to my lovely darling jen. i am still waiting to get my skirt for it and i am trying to get a tail wing from boeing, but that is looking like its gonna cost a lot. so i opted for the cardboard one. goooood stuff, eh?

i am at a loss without the high speed internet at home. its crappy mo lappy. i miss it. but i hafta make do with it, cuz i dont really have a choice. at least at work i have internet. so that makes up for it ... but not enough.

i also got some pictures printed from my digital camera. they turned out quite well. they look really good and i am mucho happy with them. this is good. technology rocks.

jen also rocks my world. which is very good might i add. and on that note. i am offffffff

2005-01-03T17:36:00.000-05:00

so like i was listening to my music in my room the other day happily singing along to blink 182.

and all of a sudden i hear a loud *crack*. i said "what the fuck?". so i moved the mouse and the computer seemed to be ok. tabernacle.

so i opened the CD Drive and this is what i saw:

like what the heckaroni.

2004-12-28T18:11:00.000-05:00

hi all.

so i got a new toy. yay. not for xmas. i bought it for myself tho.

kick ass, eh?

i went skiing ... in the rockies ... yesterday. it was fucking great. none of that shite you get out east. it was a real nice hill that you can actually ski on. it was awesome. altho i paid $3.50 for a damn gatorade. ridiculous. i dont belive it.

calgary is nice and sunny. not much snow. reallllllly dry tho.

i am going back home on the 30th of this month to spend new years with my darling girlfriend and then we are having OUR xmas. and then work starts on the 4th of january. and i get my new toy on the 5th of january. so i am looking forward to that. yes indeed.

what is new with you??

2004-12-18T16:44:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas to all, Or Happy Chanukah!

Just so everyone knows, it is Jen and I's ONE YEAR Anniversary this Monday the 20th of December 2004. So she will be here in ... 1 hour. Kick ass.

Well I am over the "shit i have exams" phase. I STILL have ONE exam left to write on Monday. Music 140. The Social History of Rock'n'Roll is how I describe it. Anyways, studying for that is very minimal. Read the book. Go over some notes. I think it is impossible for me to fail that course.

On the 23rd I am off to Calgary. My place of birth. Shall relax and do some skiing / snowboarding. Should be good times. I dislike skiing in Ontario or Quebec. The hills just plain suck. and a mere pimple on the rockie mountains ass. Thus I am excited over that.

Then back to Toronto (or near there) on the 30th of December. And Jen and I will celebrate New Years together and also we'll have "our" Christmas then. So it is going to be a busy 2 weeks off.

And then work on the 4th of January.

In other news, I signed with my old AAA hockey team in Toronto, so I will be kept busy by that.

And my boss' husband wants me to play with him on Thursday nights, which I will. So lots of HOCKEY for Colin.

YAY!

Well time to go!!

Merry Xmas, Happy Chanukah, and Happy New Years!

2004-12-12T22:57:00.000-05:00

so lynn made a snowman. i did too. took me and my buddy jon two hours. and 4 beers.

note: the mohawk made of pine and the beer bottle ears.

thing is like 8 feet tall.

cool, eh?

2004-12-06T23:20:00.000-05:00

viva las vegas! or viva la fin del classo-s. IT just struck me now ... 11:20 pm Monday night. That classes are over and I get to sleep in for the next two weeks, minus one day for that damn cs245 exam at 9am. why on earth do they make exams so bloody early? i hate it. this is the modern age. exams should ... just be like ... plug brain in here and we'll _know_ if you understand. that'd be cool. none of this 3 hour-25 page exam shit. i'm talking about 30 seocnd brain zaps. saves paper so the tree hugging hippies won't be giving us crap either. you can get all 5 exams done in 2.5 minutes. now that's technology.

they put a man on the moon. can't they friggin' make exams more convinient? sheesh...

I want to complain some more. let's start with on-terrible (ontario). holy crap you guys like money. $320 / month to insure a car that a reindeer can outrun. what the fuck? a 1989 Fucking Old Recycled Dodge (aka FORD) Tempo. Thing is 8 different gradients of rust and beige. it defines the slow lane on the highway. you go to pass someone ... you go backwards. it's like the U-Haul with no rearview-fucking-mirror. and they want to charge 320 bucks a month? every 3 months i could go buy a new car and wreck it for that price.

now some non-complaining bit...

i like music. it is good. music drives me. i'm just like "yo that dude is cool, i want to play like him" then i realise that i am no better then the ramones. meh ... ramones still rock in my world. right lynn? you didn't even make it this far did you? poop.

on a scoop? rolled in corn flakes? how about that.

STAT231 is the Devil.

2004-12-03T01:01:00.000-05:00

hello everybody.

just a quick update from colin land. so this winter i am going to be living at my aunts in pickering/ajax. i bought a car. but i don't get high speed internet. shit. what am i gonna do? i have no idea. anyways, school is long and hard. i dont like it. too much work. not enough play.

and exams. well they suck. and statistics. well that sucks too. and on monday i have to be on campus at 8am for the demo of our 246 program. crap.

and now i got sleepie.

love
me

2004-11-23T02:18:00.000-05:00

so i am gonna take or talk about something very profound ... something ohh so profound. because then maybe some jackass out there will comment. that being you. or you. or who am i kidding. no one reads this crap anyways. i stopped reading after there or here.

anyways profoundidness (as joel might say) ... so i am gonna talk about laundry. wow laundry you say. ahh ha. but you never think about it too much. you throw dirty clothes and soap in a big white thing, press a button, half an hour later throw into the other big ass white thing. press a button and 1 hour later. presto ... you have clean clothes.

on a side note, i wish clothes were like ... self cleaning. laundry just sucks. clothes should be disposable. so you were something once and twice and send it to africa for them to wear. back to what i was talking about ... that process of clothes cleaning ... or laundering.

so somewhere in that process, towards the end, you open the dryer and you have all this really warm clothes, and metal buttons that burn if u touch them. wow here comes another side note. fuck it. i can do this.

ok ... so open dryer ... warm clothes. RIGHT. so somewhere in that dryer there is this big ball of stuff ... just sitting there. and it wasnt there before. and you take this stuff ... and throw it out. first question WHY? secondly and more importantly (yeh i know this isn't parralleism .. but work report marker janne janke can blow me) ... where was i?

so i know from newton's law of something or another that matter can neither be created nor destroyed. so like where did this universe come from? anyways, that's a whole other story. when i put the clothes in the dryer, that ball of crap wasnt there. now it is. so it must've come from my clothes. but then how come i dont open the dryer door and go "hey one of my pants is now missing a a leg" no we dont do that. so it appears my clothes is degenerating to ... balls of crap. yet i nenever really loose any clothes. i evetually grow out of it and give to them people in africa tho. so where does it come from? i mean i must've had many shirts and socks just get gobbled up into those balls of crap, but i never do. i just dont know people. i just dont.

secondly, or firstly if you paid attention. why do we throw it out? we pay for this crappy cotton from ... mexico or something. you could keep it and make clothes out of it. of course you only get two colors. dark and whites. but HEY that makes it easier for sorting. unless you are me. mine is consistently a modest grey. cuz i really dont believe in separating the clothes. i just dump it all in. it's just like beds. why on earth do we make them things every morning? no righteous straight man gives a rats ass about protecting the sheets from something during the day. screw making mades or beds. now where was i. i dont know.

thirdly. ha i snuck it in. why do we buy garbage bags? it's the only fucking thing we buy ... to just throw out again. huh? so who gives a shit if you get the double gladed guarded super duty extra strange strong GLAD with a handle bullshit? i dont. i buy the cheapest fucking piece of shit on the shelf, cuz i know what i am gonna use it for. garbage. put garbage in it. throw in street. repeat as necessary. no need for $45 dollar garbage bags. hell might as well just make them out of money.

profound enough for you, huh punk? well if not. here is something that may be. yasar arafat, that old palenstinian guy might have died from AIDS. that's what stockwell day says. also, he was like 75. his wife was 41, and they have a 9 year old daughter. well HE did. but he's dead, she's not. anyways, isnt that a bit old to be boinking? like come one. he must've used Viagara. speaking of viagrara. i hate junk mail. i also hate that hotmail hasnt given me my damn upgrade yet.

now comment yer silly ass ... i am going to bed. cuz it's 3am. and 3am is usually when i sleep.

2004-11-21T23:17:00.000-05:00

Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen!

Welcome to this festival of lights, sounds, and actions ... like Shakespeare with a strap-on.

Well, that wasn't off topic in the least. So I went to K-Town this weekend. Went out for dinner both Friday and Saturday, my treat of course. (And yes with Jen). Hung out with Jen and did pretty much nothing. Except for encoing the Huffman Algorithm, which is always fun. And I still have homework to do. Damn.

I'm still in the process of "signing" with a hockey team for this winter. Will most likely be the team I played for last year, because they really want me to play for them. So why not I figure. But big pain to get waivers from other teams in my "area" stating that they are full. So phone calls like crazy and emails like crazy.

And don't forget my hockey team here in Waterloo. We had a perfect 6-0 season. Had out first playoff game last Thursday, we won. Yippee! Now everyone say it! Anyways, Semi-Finals coming up this Thursday. Go Team Go!

Speaking of Hockey. When are these fucking duck fuckers going to give in to this stupid labor lockout. Just pay everyone 1 million dollars, whether they suck or not. That'll cut the payrolls down, and really, who can't live off of a million bucks? That's more then most people make in a lifetime, in Africa at least.

Other news: I hate school. I'm sick of it. And I have two and a half years left. Sheesh.

Anyways, I am going to bed.

2004-11-15T23:59:00.000-05:00

i lay on the door
but she wont let me in
cuz you're sick and tired
of me reeking of gin

knock on the doors
from the front to the back
you left me a note telling
me i should pack

i walk in the bar and
the fellas all cheer
they order me up
a whiskey and beer

you ask me why
i'm writing this song
some call it a tavern
but i call it home

fuck you i'm drunk
fuck you i'm drunk

pour my beer
down the sink
i've got more
in the trunk

fuck you i'm drunk
fuck you i'm drunk

and i'm going to be drunk
till the next time i'm drunk

you've given me options
you've said i must do
'tween you and the liquor
but i'll take the brew

jumpin' on western
down to the southside
where i'll sit down and
exercise my irish pride

fuck you i'm drunk
fuck you i'm drunk

2004-11-08T22:07:00.000-05:00

sorry people for not posting in sooo long.

i've done maybe 150 hours of work in the past 7 days. fuckin' crazy ...

and now i have a midterm tomorrow, two assignments due on wednesday, and three assignments for next week. so i got lots to do.

i am also going to newfoundland on thursday to see the parents and some family. back monday. so like when am i gonna get these assignments done? who knows. but i better get them done. that's all i can say.

and then .... more shit. it's just shit after shit. never ending story of a CS student at UW.

speaking of UW, we snatched back our #1 rating from U of Guelph. fuck you guelph. what a weird name. so we are the best again. yay! w00t. whatever....

in the meantime joel has been trying to program insert for what seems like years now. hurry tha shit up and finish yo. in the meantime, i am jamming to tha music 140 tunes.

my old man's a dustman ....

the beatles ... the stones. fun stuff.and i need to study.

bye

2004-10-31T19:54:00.000-05:00

hi.

i saw the jen this weekend.

somebody how understand.

halloween are fun. if understand one question know do me please explain. thanks.

that about sums up the level of english my classmates are at. i.e. absolute shite. now i can't spell worth a poop. but i sure as hell can speak english better than that neanderthal fuck. my question is: how the hell did they pass the ELPE and i failed the damn thing? i dont get.

for those of you who dont know what the ELPE is, it's a test that you need to write to pass first year university, and i failed it. but this guy (not sure what liu gang is yet, any ideas joel?) somehow passed it, yet i failed it.

here this guy graduates with a comp. sci. degree. he can write crazy programs. good luck explaining to him what you want him to do ... let alone why he did what he did. how can someone get a degree from a canadian institution and not speak english? pathetic. joel's three year old cousin can speak better english than that thing.

enough ranting. jen came to visit this weekend. we saw "ray". 'twas a good movie, i quite enjoyed it. we hunged out ... i mean yeh. did a bit of homework. midterm on tuesday. stupid CS assignment due wednesday.

and chuck e. berry is awesome. and i am sick again. this is like crazy. i need to be healthy. not sick. sick sucks my asshole. it's halloween today. joel and i are going candy shopping tomorrow since all the stores will be trying to sell off the halloween candy ... cheap. and then his dad can yell at us for rotting our teeth out. that's always fun. anyways, i am going to do some work now. cuz i have a test on tuesday....

2004-10-25T20:31:00.000-04:00

so ... shit. fuck i can't remmeber where i was ...

hmmm ....

well i shall start from ... sometime last week.

i got some forty one's new album, chuck. it's pretty good. so i have been jamming with them for a while now. i've also been jamming with sick. and that stuff called homeowork and studying. it's oodles of fun i tell you. yeh, now go suck a fork. i dunno what the heckaroni that means.

speaking of which, a while back i credited that to lynn. WRONGFULLY. Homer Jay Simpson gets credit for that, since Lynn prolly stoled it from there, am I right, huh? am I? Am I?

Now I am hungry. and look, a shiny metallic object on the floor. hmm i think that's? i dunno what the hell it is.... i think it is part of joels broken pin that i was *supposed* to fix. i should get on that.......

and visual studio just killed my machine. so i am off.... ta!

2004-10-20T14:34:00.000-04:00

and i just injested 7 pills, 2 tsp of nasty cough stuff, and a cough drop that tastes like wow. and now ... i am nicely sedated. mmmmmmmm. and i don't have to write the midterm tomorrow, which is unfortunate, i would rather be not sick. but what can you do ... nuffin really. especially being this sick.

i'm spent. bed time.

2004-10-15T13:56:00.000-04:00

k-town here i come. well in 9.25 hours that is. how how i love three day weeks. especially with two midterms on two days and two assignments in one day. that's just love-a-dub-i-cious. something like that.

everyone join in with me ...
happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you,
happy birthday dear jennnnnnnnnnnn,
happy birthday to yoooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!

and that's my jen. yes yes it is. mine.

even though last week was hell week. guess what? i have another 4 to go. isn't that just great? next blows my asshole ... as does the next? welcome to hell colin. have a nice stay!

in other news ... sum41 came out with a new album. i suggest you try it ... it's called chuck. and of course shit happened.

but now i shall bring up something that is a little more profound...

WHAT THE FUCK IS OUR "NAVY" DOING? More importantly what the fuck is the british navy doing?

If you didn't know, the Canadian Navy bought 4 pieces of old shit diesel subarmarines from the brits, i believe we paid 800 million dollars for these rust buckets. literally. the british sold these whale rockets knowing they were shit. HELLO CANADA, there is a reason the brits docked them in scotland!!! holy crap, who is running this country? ohh right paul martin. fire his ass. NDP all the way baby.... enough of politics, back to the subs. why don't we throw in an extra 200 million dollars (about the amount in the sponorship scandalship) and buy ONE FRIGGIN BRAND NEW NUCLEAR SUB, never been used. instead of 4 subs from world war 1. that would make more sense. on second thought, just scrap the entire armed forces. our army doesn't do much. what do we need subs for now a days anyways? the enemy has radar and just drops some bombs and no more sub. i dont get the clowns running this place.

anyways, i am going to sleep. i have an early start tomorrow. and thats no fun. i hate mornings.

cheers to all ...

2004-10-13T01:49:00.000-04:00

so i think i shall start a list of my all time favorite songs ... ever ... let' start with the king of rock?

who am i talking about? huh? punk ...

elvis or chuck? i shall leave this decision up to you.

nonetheless my list starts with elvis, simply because he was just a bit before chuck...

return to sender - elvis presley
jailhouse rock - elvis presley
heartbreak hotel - elvis presley
johnny b. goode - chuck e. berry
school day - chuck e. berry
my ding a ling - chuck e. berry

this is just the beginning of the list. it is not exhaustive.

if you do not own these ... legally ... you should run out the store like a chicken with its head cut off screaming, just to buy them and then realise that you can get them for free from the internet ... duh!

anyways, one midterm down. another 6 more to go. weeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

on another note. i am going to fucking strangle rogers to shit. i fucking hate those cock suckers. almost as much as that midget interviwer guy. i paid my august phone bill. have i seen it? hell no. isn't the idea of a bill ... to see it before you pay it? like shit. and i hate customer service people. so damn useless. please hold ... keep holding ... wait until i get my fat ass off the seat and answer the fuckin' phone dip shit. you know when they play that classical music shit or some brtiney-i'm-a-virgin horseshit ... i just sit there and say "roger's blows goats and performs fellatio on various other farm animals" over and over. and i hope that someone on the other end is listening.

there is this funny video i should find it ... anyways bed time.

2004-10-10T22:30:00.000-04:00

and it's a brand new spanking look. i hope you like it. if you don't just leave ...

errr wait a minute, you are one of like ... three people that read this. please stay. i'm begging you ...

no i'm not. i don't care if you stay or leave. feel free to comment. *cough cough* HINT HINT *cough cough*.

anyways, it's thanksgiving holiday. now i dont know what day is actually thanksgiving. it's weird that we celebrate this holiday, as i stated on lynn's blog. it's a holiday to celebrate them mayflower ship people for murdering the natives. sounds like a great holiday? what's next? hitler or stalin day?? i dont think so ...

it's some pagean holiday. so it's not like ... really religious. it's just a time for fat people like me to eat wayyyyyy too much food. and yeh... that is fun. drink some wine. see family. see jen. thats the important part there ... let me repeat that SEE JEN ... there i think i got the point across well enough.

but i dont mind, it just means more time off school.

us university students are so weird. we actually dont mind not having school. WE PAY FOR IT PEOPLE. yet we are so damn excited on a snow day that one must text msg me at 7am. holy christ man ... anyways, i remmeber tuition bonusii (that's the plurarl form of bonus, i promise) from larry smith. ya right ....

why do we always have one week per term that can be labled hell week? this coming week i have a midterm on tuesday, two assignments due on wednesday, and a midterm on thursday. note i have night class on tuesday. i just dont get it. stop screwing me university of waterloo.

on another note why is jen not responding to me??? i'm sad ... here is the conversation ... that i am trying to have with jen:

colin - jkw forever ... it's turkey lurkey time! says:
hiiiiiiiiiiii babe
colin - jkw forever ... it's turkey lurkey time! says:
jennnnnnnnnnn?????
colin - jkw forever says:
jennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

and ... fuck all. abuse i tell ya. pure abuse that i am taking fromt her. i gotta straighten that girl out. (note: i wont do anything, cuz i just love her sooo damn much)

in other news:

apparently sean and christin are ... a package ... a thing ... y'know boyfriend girlfriend. some magic floating in the air ... or is that sparks? i just dont know anymore.

joel ... he's a dork he ran to winnipeg.

marg ... good god woman ... where have you been? you like feel (i really meant fell) off the face of the earth or something

lynn our friendship continues to build stronger. it's good. we talk a lot. she's cool, i'm cool. we're cool. she's coming back to stream 4...kick ass. i'm excited. i bought her a ramones pin. joel claims he paid for some of it too ... it cost like 85 cents ... so i am not gonna bicker.

miranda. she's around. prolly in b-town. so yeh....

and i am a loser ... i dont have any other friends.

where the hell is everyone? excuse me, i mean where the hell is jen???? come here!

well i guess i will keep blogging. cuz this music blows my ass.... some shit from the 1800s for my music class. lets be honest. any song that goes:
Oh, carve that possum,
Carve that possum children,
Carve that possum
Children, oh carve him to his heart.
*barfs*

can't be that good can it??

i tried to see shark tale on friday with jen. didn't work so well. damn fire alarm. i want to see that movie. from the 30 minutesi saw ... it looked great. i'm pissed i didn't get to see it.

and i studied some. that is not what i am thankful for. it's like what are you thankful for this weekend? "well i wish i could be THANKFUL FOR NOT HAVING ALL THIS BLOODY WORK TO DO" ... but i am not that cool. meh ... i ate some turkey. some pumpkin pie. some possum. 'twas a grand old time.

and now some more from that hit from 1864 ... carvvvvvvvvvvvve that possum

some eat early and some eat soon
some like possum, and some like coon
that possum's just the thing for me
old rattler's got another one up the tree

i wish i could be a radio host dude. you just sit around and talk to yourself all day. yeh i can do that. totally. yeh .......

jen still isn't responding to me? and i've moved on to some ernest tubb. i was just craving possum wayyyyy to much to keep listening to that song. "i'm walking over the floor for you ... "

aren't i just in a musitastic mood today? i think so. also in the mood of writing a blog that is way to fucking long for anyone to read. except joel. he has already read this somehow cuz the guy reads too fast.

and she's talking to becca on the phone. that means nothing to anyone except me. but i felt like saying it. cuz ernest tubb is just depressing the hell outta me.

and now we get to some happy songs .... Sh-boom:
Oh, life could be a dream (sh-boom)
(doo-da-da-do sh-boom)
If I could take you up in paradise up above (sh-boom)
If you would tell me I'm the only one that you love
Life could be a dream, sweetheart
(Hello, hello again, sh-boom and hopin' we'll meet again)

Hey nonny ding dong, alang alang alang
Boom ba-doh, ba-doo ba-doodle-ay

Life could be a dream
Life could be a dream, sweetheart!

that was for jen. cuz i think of her when i listen to that song. by the way, that is the chords version. which is much better then those twisted canadian boys the crew cuts who ruined that song with the damn tipani. dumbasses.

go to hell bob

this is too long. and jen still hasn't replied....

maybe i am not the only one she loved ... boo urns to that. it says in the song she said that. so its true. yeh thats right. she loves me, not you ... or you ... or you ... or you. ok? got it ... punk?

i'm out....

2004-10-06T11:24:00.000-04:00

well fuck you too mr. interview man. and your mom too ...

I just had the worst interview ever. and the worst part was ... he was a midget! and a cocky little fucker at that. yes i am bitter. so is dane.

it went something like this:

cocky little fuck: "how you doing?"
me: "i'm good and yourself?"
dick head: "so ... what's a double-abstinter-nine-equatryuer?"
me: "that's a very good question. what is it?"
cock sucker: "it's a blah blah blah blah. i am a nerd"
me: "i see"
ass eater: "what's the difference between c++ and java"
me: "that's a silly question. go fuck yourself"
cunt guzzler: "i like men, how about you?"
me: "go to hell"
finger licking wannabe proctologist: "well tell me about your previous jobs"
me: "they were fun. you are not. go get a spoon"
piss ant: "ok well that's about it"
me: "you're boring. bye"

and that was it. i got raped by a midget. fucking hell.

2004-09-29T21:50:00.001-04:00

MARK THIS DAY IN HISTORY AS THE DAY I FINALLY GOT EVERY SINGLE SIMPSONS EPISODE TO DATE.

What a feat ...

2004-09-28T18:04:00.000-04:00

hear ye hear ye hear ye!

on this day, the twenty-eigth of september, two thousand and four, forith ... i hereby proclaim the use of blogness to be utilized in only such a manner that an old english monarch would thereby approve of. else thou canst aroint thee witch.

the needeth for such wording is obligatory to blah blah blah ... fuck that shit.

I got an interview ... *sticks tongue out* ... neener neener neener. hehe. it's some web development job. i figured the best way to get a job is apply for ones that i actually have qualifications for. even if i dont have the qualifications for.

but it's HTML. it's not even programming. my 84 year old grandma could do it. what makes me qualified is that I am one of THREE individuals who speaks french in this town. which makes me the smalliest minority in this university. aside from that non-existent albino who nobody ever sees because he is soo white he is just see thru. speaking of albinos ... anyone ever read the da vinci code. and speak of being wayyyy off on a tangent... ohh dear. did i just use math terms in my daily language. doh!

life cannot be complete without a quote from the simpsons.

speaking of the simpsons... when i left this morning my 35 GB file of every single god damn episode was 98.1% complete. which means i am damn close to having every single episode. but the new season is here and such, i won't have every single episode for long. shame.

anyways, jen came to se my this weekend. 'twas a great weekend. very enjoyable i thought. yeppers. we didn't do much that any of you really care to know about ... so i will just leave up to your imaginations.

lynn went to the carp fair. and since everyone is blogging about the carp fair i figured i should. since it is the cool thing to do after all. after all .... after alll? i am just as lost as joel is right now.

speaking of joel he just left. who cares? i dont really. he went to WLU ... that's short for "What a fucking shitty high schooL down the street that rips yoU off." WLU. get it? i think joel might. otherwsie you should press "ATL" + "F4" then fairies will come out of your computer and give the best head ever ... i promise. if u blieve me just try it. if the window closes ... re-try it again and again. it will work sometime. i promise. i am not pulling yer leg.

tim hortons has this new thing called steeped tea. which is such a crock of shit. it used to be that tea cost you 98 cents no matter what size. but they wanted to charge you more for the same shit. so they came up with this thing called steeped tea. which means they take the same tea bag that they used to give you. make THREE cups of tea, and sell them all for a higher price and only using one third of the tea bags. what bullshit is this ... yet i still keep paying them the money. i dont know why ....

i guess i should mention that the hockey team i play for won their first hockey game 3-0. 'twas fun. not really exciting. but i was thinking of offering my services to the toronto maple leafs for free. y'know. i will play for them for nothing. just give me equipment and that and i will be set.

anyways ... i am sorta sick of this stupid computer. it's ugly and scaring me too much.

yay for lynn switching back to the cool stream. none of this stream 8 horseshit. just kidding. i love you all. wait a minute. marg or sean won't even read this. and i dont really know anyone else on stream 8 that would read this. so screw you for not reading my blog. unless you do read my blog. then you are ok.

k i said i was gonna go. so i am gonna go. go go go ... now ... i swear.

good day.

2004-09-25T18:53:00.002-04:00

2004-09-20T01:45:00.000-04:00

DA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA
NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA
COLIN-MAN!

DA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA
NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA
COLIN-MAN!

So. What has happened since I last blogged? Well, let's see ... I confessed my un-dying love for that special girl of mine ... again. Because really, you can't do it enough. I went to Phils, didn't get philed like I got bombered at the Bomber. (Does anyone get that? 'Cause I don't).

I'm apparently playing soccer this term. And of course I am playing Ice Hockey with Owen Nolan (aka Julie Dunham). I led last year's league in goals, assists, and penalties. The penalties don't surprise me. Everything else does.

And I am still downloading EVERY SINGLE GOD DAMN SIMPSONS EPISODE. And it's still only at 85%. Here's Joel bitching about a download having 30 hours left. WHEN MINE has 200 hourss left and has been going for about a month or so. When I started the slated time was 1000 hours. So I would say I am getting there. I'd reckon another week to a week and a half we should be 100%. Then I have every episode. So what am I going to do with this? Pretty much nothing y'know.

Tomorrow is the second week of classes. 12 more to go. Yes I am counting down to another work term. 'Cuz school sucks, and so does work? That means Jen is going to have to start raking in the dough. I'll do the babies, cooking, cleaning, and sitting on ass getting fatter watching football.

'CAUSE I CAN'T FUCKING WATCH HOCKEY ANYMORE. What a bunch of greedy assholes. I was thinking. What if I came up with a proposal for the league. Like I will find hockey players who will play for say $100,000 per year. So that's roughly 30 players per team, so a payroll of 3 million. The league average was 1.79 million last season, so this isn't even twice that. I would be there for sure. I'll be the number one draft choice for the Calgary Flames. That would be interesting. I mean it is entirely feasible. I just wish I knew Gary Bettman's phone number. DAMNIT. (BTW, if anyone reads this and takes my idea, I WILL SUE. Cuz I put (c) on this page. It is owned by me. No copying is allowed).

And this has been long enough. Do I need to add anything else? I don't think so. I'd be surprised if ANYONE made it down here. If you did, you get a free coke.

And that's all from the Batcave.

DA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA
NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA
COLIN-MAN!

2004-09-16T22:56:00.000-04:00

so it's official. joel and i are twins?

i dunno.

last night was first bomber night. and got bombered in honor of that. and kicked out ... not once but twice. yes. and took ride safe home. ride safe rules.

class blow. that is all i can say.

profs are crap. uw is crap.

so yeh.

2004-09-12T20:42:00.000-04:00

well well well.

how are my children doing this fine day?

HEY lynn, guess what i did this weekend????

i saw jen! can we sayyyyyyyy sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!! i think so!

so i went to kingston this past weekend to see my lovely girlfriend jen. and while in kingston i posed as a frosh. with wirstband and all. am i cool or what? well, i mean ... having the wrist band was just my poise to go to a sum41 concert. which rocked my boxers right off. yeh. i went to a free sum41 concert as a queen's "frosh". i finally got to live my fantasy of being an arts student. i got to hang out with a bunch of artsies ... and i ddin't worry about being some waterlo-ser cs guy.

but seriouslly, sum41 was good. the only bad thing was most the people there dont know a good punk show. so i couldn't really get into it properlly. nonetheless. i did some crowd surfing. best of all. my jen had a kick ass time.

overalll i rate this weekend..... a 10. cuz i got to see my girl!!! yay!

and how is everyone else??

2004-09-08T13:27:00.000-04:00

so ... i'm proud to say that i have TWO WHOLE friends. i.e. joel and lynn. who voted on my voter thinger. while a woping 67% of people are just random dudes or dudettes. thankfuly no one thinks my site sucks. if i were a random person i would have said "you're site sucks" ... site unseen. no doubt. but i'm an ass, or a dick according to lynn. surprisingly 8% of people are my girlfriend ... so lets see, if this poll is accurate to 3% ... 19/20 times. that could mean that 5% of the world's population (is/are, fucking english was never a strength of mine)? my girlfriend(s). that's like wow, the numbers are too big to do in my head. but somewhere in the range of 300 million people. i think. so the entire population of the United States of Americans is my girlfriends. but ... i'll take the ONE i got ... which really should just be 1.666666666666666667 x 10^-10% or something of the worlds population. lynn please do the math. that's like ... 0.000000000166666666666667 ... let's just say she is 0.0000000002% of the world's population. in other words ... she is perfect.

what else is new in the life of colin. in the immortal wods of billy connolly ... fuck off. cuz there ain't too much. i've been doing nothing. watching movies. being lazy. reading books.

there is a swimmimg pool right across the street from my house. which is pretty happening if you ask me.

so i'm going to force some input of those who actually make it to this line. so lynn, joel, jen ... random people. what should my next poll be? first, we will gather all the ideas, have a poll on which idea is best ... then i'll do a poll on that. that's not redundant ... at all. fuckin' redundancy. actually this is redundant. the past like ... 500 words prolly have. i'm just one redundant guy. can i use you redundant one more time ... yes fuck you redundancy.

annnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyways. i'm out. my brain hurts.

ps i just tried to get my email from hoemail. and it said "the server is too busy" like fuck you the server is too busy. give me my fucking email from lynn.

pps- ps has a whole new meaning, read tha da vinci code

2004-09-05T09:48:00.000-04:00

*queueueueueueueueueueueueueues music*

duh duh duh duh duh

heading on the highway
looking for adventure

going 98 kilometers per hour
yeh i love rocking in u-haul

so i am about to embark on a road trip in the biggest piece of shit vehicle you will have ever seen. the thing goes max 98. and i have a 100 some odd kms to drive. so you can only imagine that this is gonna drive me nuts. there's no cd player, no tape deck, just an am/fm fucking radio.

so it's gonna be me and the golden oldies alll the way down. yeeee haww. and joel ditched me so i don't have a right hand side mirror. ohhh well. i'm apologizing right now to any inocent people's bumpers that i ruin. but i got the bigger truck mutha fucking.

Truckin' got my chips cashed in.
Keep truckin', like the do-dah man
Together, more or less in line, just keep truckin' on.

*turns off music realising he really can't sing*

there are two songs on the blog. name them and win a free ...

(no cheating with google either)

2004-08-28T19:55:00.000-04:00

what a profound world we live in.

10 year olds shooting their fathers on custody visits.

toys dipicting airplanes flying onto the world trade center.

the damn disney buses are on fire.

16 year olds being shot in cali.

killer bees and drive bys are killing in texas.

15 year olds robbed for $15, then shot in the back of the head.

shit is just going down.

yet we sit in our homes ... safely. the most of our worries are how much lower our interest rates will get. girls with straight hair spend tens of dollars on getting curly hair, curly haired girls want straight hair. all the damn rich actors and musicians worry about making 29 million dollars instead of 30 million dollars due to piracy. george W is choking on fucking snack food while taking over half the world. one third of americans have high chlorestoral. yet we spend millions of dollars (not canadians, we dont give our athletes shit) to send atheletes to compete in the olympic games. if an athlete wins a gold ... they will most likely be awarded a sponsorship from a major company for millions of dollars.

ok ok ok. so these people are talented. but i am sure there are a lot more talented people who lack the money because they cant even afford to have 3 meals a day.

the truth of the matter is ... we live in a fucked up world. i will admit, i indulge in it myself. yet 'tis sad ... but what can we do? nothing really....

2004-08-26T18:47:00.000-04:00

current song: rancid - time bomb
current mood: yearning for jen

ONE day of work left. work report is done. the eval should be all done, the boss just wants to have a "talk" tomorrow sometime. before 4 o'clock of course. because i am not staying any longer then 4. i'll prolly leave early too.

so shall i say something profound? well to be honest i'll pass.

btw, joel's landlord is a fucking dick. he turns off his internet. drinks his beer. removes the tv. i don't know what the fuck is wrong with this cocaine sniffing ass ... joel i am truly sorry that i found that place for you to live. i guess i just had better luck with my place.

current song: coheed & cambria - everything evil

fucking keyboard is pissing me off as late. it's got sticky keys. i think it's going in the garbage bin soon. like now i think.

did i mention that i have one day left of work?

2004-08-24T23:47:00.000-04:00

99 days of work left,
99 days of work,
go to work, be mind numbed,
98 days of work left,
...
...
3 days of work left
3 days of work!

so three days left. which is good, cuz i dunno how much longer i can stand my boss. today she pretty much said my work report was crap, and that i had to stay late. no way women. you come in early.

some things that i have meant to blog about lately ... but haven't due to the obvious lack of blogging.

a while back lynn used the word "balls" ... and not in the we played with basketBALLS sense. as in the BALLS!! sense. i thought that was amusing. i didn't know that was part of the female vocabulary ... or anyone except mine. but she used it much to my surprise. way to go lynn.

according to my mini poll. i have 5 fans. two of which i do not know.

c'mon people, if you are going to bother to vote, put in a freaking comment at least so i know who it is. this excludes jen, because she voted for the one thing that i know who it is. i only have one girlfriend people....

so i assume one of the friends was joel ... and the other was lynn? sean? marg(nah she never comes here), katie? ashley? who was it?

and thanks to random people for coming out too. that rocks. just put some input in on the comments. that would be greatly appreciate by ME, and my FIVE whole fans.

i saw the hairest women (man?) on the subway today. she had more hair then a monkey. 'twas scary.

i played hockey with an NHLer the other day. w00t i suppose.

anyways i go sleepie.

2004-08-22T19:24:00.000-04:00

so canada's olympic team blows my anus.

We, as Canadians, have been put into a competitive coma by the dismal medal count at the Athens Olympics.

All I can say, is that we are itching for a big can of whoop-ass. Which will come ...

pourquoi?

bring on the World Cup of Hockey mutha fuckas!

in case you didn't know what this is ... it's like this thing that is played every 4 years, (1996 being the first, it was scraped in 2000, but back in '04).

there are eight teams in this years world cup of hockey.

us of a: fucking americans. they got it all backwards. they are a mere day older then dirt. with over the hill players like chelios and hull, they are just too old to keep up. and they lack a true goaltender to boot. mike richter was a superb goaltender in the last world cup, but he has since retired due to massive concussions. so they are left with crap youngings who are unproven. kiss your ass good bye fellow southerners...

czech republic: the czechs are relying on patrik elias and burnt out jaromir jagr to win this. and cechmanek in goal gives the team about a zero percent chance of winning, which isnt very good.

finland: thanks to mikka kiprusoff (vezina torphy finalist), the finns are able to make up for a lack of players up front, still the team isn't looking too great with a true lack of forwards.

russia: the russians, like other teams, lack goaltending. khabibulin has taken a pass after leading the tampa bay lightening to a stanley cup this past season. and with nabokov out. the russians are shit out of luck this year.

sweden: the swedes ice an outstanding lineup consisting of players like mats sundin, daniel alfredsson, and markus naslund. yet they are relying on maple leafs prospect tellqvist and the tortured tommy salo, after an embarrasing lose to the belarussians in the 2002 winter olympics. one of the main contenders. have been runner up in the past two world championships.

we can all thank germany and slovakia for coming out ...

which leaves one team left: Canada.

canada has what it takes:
goaltending: (brodeur [currently the nhl's best], luongo [brought canada back-to-back world championships in 2003 and 2004], and theodore [who lacks the international experience])

experience: mario lemieux ... need i say more? ok i will. 10 of the players on the 2002 salt lake city gold medal team are back... including jarome iginla (lead all NHL goal scorers), joe sakic (MVP of 2002 olympics), adam foote, and scott nedeirmyer (how the hell do u spell that guys name?) ...

youngins: dany heatley ... helped canada win 2 back-to-back world championships. vinny lecavalier, brad richards, joe thornton, simon gagne the list goes on ...

we've got what it takes. we have scorers ... grinders ... playmakers. all what we need to prove to the rest of the world who are the best hockey players in canada.

I say bring it on WORLD!

2004-08-20T17:37:00.000-04:00

so fuck.

no one reads this god damn thing.

errr people prolly read it ... but no one comments.

like ... am i not as funny as joel? cuz i dont really care. he has like 8 hours a day to create a blog. he works for the gov't. which is about as useless as a dead tree.

so i figure i'm just gonna write whatever the hell i feel like not caring if i offend anyone ... cuz apparently no one reads the fucking ting anyways. what do i care? i dont

so 5 days left of work. fuck i cant wait to get away from my bitch of a boss. she's like the nazi's of the corporate world. i hope one day i am her boss, so i can fire her ass.... bloody corporate power happy bloodhounds.

on another note, the other women who works in my department ... my secretary. (my boss is the other women) ... i swear to god ... she is ... so .... fucking ... dumb. i want to shoot her in the head. she doesn't understand the difference between HARDWARE AND SOFTWARE. why are you working in the IT department? go to fucking ... like .... garbage cleaning or something. i was teaching the secretary how to use excel to do some stuff ... and it was like teaching a fucking mute to speak. yes ... impossible.

what have we learned from this day at work? 5 days left. that's all i care about.

it's time to start slacking off. cuz i wanna.

2004-08-15T21:21:00.000-04:00

so i went hiking with jen, robin, and wendy. we were supposed to do three days of hiking. but turned into one day of 30 km. which was plenty. considering i had a dead cow on my back. well it sure seemed like it.

is it me, or does that paragraph seem like two people talking ... sure seems like it to me.

so camping was fun., i had a sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet time dude! we didn't bring a camping stove or any of that other wuss stuff that "campers" take along with them. but ina ctual fact, we went HJHIKIN ... HIKING for those of us that can type. which is avery differnet (different) from camaping (camping) . and when hiking you want to minimize the weight of the pack, which is already enough carrying clothes, sleeping bag, tent, food, and WATER. (notice the comma after the second to last word, as per UW grammar fags).

anyway, a friend who i haven't seen since ... since ... shit i can't remember many years ago is coming to visit me. weeeee. tres impromptu. i grew up with her in saudi. she's from calgary. a hick like me. indeedidly.

whats with me and use of words such as "tres", "demain", "en masse", "raison d'etre", et "et". like am i being overtaken by french people. ewewwww scary. good thing there are no french people reading this. mange ma culotte! mon ostie.

anyways, i'm off children of the lamb!

2004-08-08T20:58:00.000-04:00

so i'm back. i was at my aunt's all weekend. well damn, you didn't even notice. so what do i care really?

on thursday i did some shopping. well jen did the shopping really. i just paid the bill, and now i have some new clothes. it's still in the bag ...

right. so my aunt's house had this effing fly. yes one of those annoying little buggers that flies around going "bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt" all day. and just pisses ... the ... shit ... out ... of ... every ... fucking ... body. i was watching tv and i hear "bzzzzt" go by really quickly. then again ... "bzzzt". fucker. i saw it on the table, and smacked my hand reallly hard. ouch ... two minutes later "bzzzzt".

little fucker. so i go get one of them fly swatting thinger-ma-jigs from the kitchen. and for the next 30 minutes wait for the damn thing. fuck all.

about an hour later i'm in the kitchen and i hear "bzzzzzzzzzzt". i look around for the fly killing machine. no where to be seen. damn, tv room. so i go get it ... go back to the kitchen and ... fuck off!

i spent the next 20 minuts wandering the house with the fly smacker ... i saw this big mother of a fly. and i smacked the shit out of the that thinger 'till it was dead. then i ate it for dinner.

just kidding.

two minutes later ... bzzzzzt

is the thing back from the dead. i went on a rampage. swatting at every damn black spot killing everything that went bzzzzzzt.

finally peace and quite to watch TV ... then bzzzzzzzt ... fuck off.

while at my aunts, i bought a tent from crappy tire ... aka canadian tire. this is for robin, wendy, jen and i's camping/hiking trip next weekend. 'twill be fun. too bad joel. jen's very worried that robin and i wont be prepared. have no fear jen....

anyways, allergies are being a piss off. i just want jen to come give me a big hug and make me all better.... jennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!

2004-08-02T14:33:00.000-04:00

so i'm going on laptop #3 ... god damn things. first one was stolen. still need to get money back for that. the one i have now is not what it said it was on the internet. so i went and bitched at the manager of the local future shop. he's replacing it. sweeeet. so 3 laptops in the span of like 3 or 4 months. ohhhh my...

so i went to fionn MacCool's on saturday. it had a band and all. but was too small. definitly no heart and crowne ... or whatever that place is called.

so the other good news is that my boss is on vacation this entire week. which means ... she's gone. which is a good thing. as well only 19 days left of work. so that means 12 more days that i have to deal with her. (as she is taking off more days sometime next week). my reporting work is done. yay. just getting it edited and stuff. then i'm pretty much done.

the next step is to get an outstanding... which is gonna take some tough convincing.

anyways, my water is boiling. so i must go and cook pasta. yummer!

2004-07-31T17:59:00.000-04:00

a poem about gitting pissed (for lynn)

however much booze you've been drinking
you just want a little bit more
your head begins reeling
you stare at the ceiling
and then you throw up on the floor

2004-07-24T09:15:00.000-04:00

hello people of all kinds.

first i would like to say ... actually love to say: JEN COMES BACK TODAY ... HUZZAH! HOORAY! Yiipeee Kiya Eh! she's been in BC, Alberta, and those States, like Washington, near there. And she comes back, this is good news!

secondly i would like to point out that miranda was very very very drunk last night, and sent most of us an email, and some MSN messages,which were very amusing. she also thinks that joel and I are secret lovers. duh! we went out for a long time before jen, but he's a man of my past, i think he is still infatuated with me though. just to note: that i wore the pants in that one, he wore the dresses, skirts, etc....

other then jen coming home i have nothing to say really. i mean jen coming is alll what matters....

time to go to doctors to see whats stuck in my throat...

2004-07-15T20:52:00.000-04:00

public Thinger APostWrittenInCode {

while(colin.isACSDork()) {

     this.setMusic(blink182);
     this.setMood(drunk); \\ gotta give me points for trying

     System.out.println("As you can see, I decided to write a blog in code. We'll see how it goes people");

     String news = this.fetchWhatsNewInColinsLife();
     System.out.println(news); \\ i guess you can't really read that. sorry folks.

   joel.insertFunnyCommentMakingFunOfHimself(); \\ hahaha i fell like god.
     sean.insertCommentThatHeNeverInserts();
     katie.insertComment("Huzzah!"); \\ overloading
     lynn.insertComment("YayColinIsComingToWaterlooThisWeekendHurrah");
     ashley.insertCommentTryingToDissColin();
     ashley.ButJustMakeAFoolOfHerself();
     int PlaceBetThatMargWillNotReadThis = 50;

     for(int i=0; i<5; i++) {
        System.out.Println("This is the number of friends I have: "+i);
     }

     if(colin.isInAGoodMoodRightNow()) {
        // looks like we made it in here ... whew
     }

     if(colin.hasABitchForABoss()) {
        // making it in here is not a good thing
        this.makeBossHappyOnMonday(); // hopefully that works.
     }

    this.ColinHasHadEnoughOfThis();
    this.IWontDocumentThisUselessPieceOfCode();
}
Thinger WhatIsAThinger = new Thinger();
return WhatIsAThinger;
}

2004-07-14T18:00:00.000-04:00

so i'm like 20. and if i haven't learned anything in my 20 years, i sure learned this: the more you get paid, the less you do. look at joel for example. he does fuck all. get's paid nicely. and me. my job is a counter example. i get paid more, but i do a fuck load more. fuck. i screwed up. meh.

2004-07-13T20:24:00.000-04:00

well, it's good to know that i actually have friends. even if they do try to make fun of my hockey playing skills (smashley) .. ashley, how many goals did i score your team? because i lost count ...

well, it's been a rough last 4 days due to lack of jen. somehow i am surviving on text messages and a phone call. i just can't get enough ...

one of my room mates had surgery today, due to a collapsed lung. so i saw him today.

hospitals still freak me out. i hate them. i used to be able to deal with hospitals, and blood and guts. now i can't deal so well. i guess i've come in touch with myself or some crap like that. ask a girl, she can prolly explain.

anyways, i'm glad people still come to my site. 'tis always nice to know, even though i went 2 weeks sans update. sorry friends. i am going to try and keep on it. but somtimes i get carried away...

on another note, i am a big dork. i like jeopardy and trivia stuff. and ken jennings won his 30th round tonight ... and surpased the million dollar mark. like good god man, how far will he go? so watch it!

and lately i've been listening to some odd taste of music ... beach boys and elvis. yes the elvis... i dunno why... childhood memoires?

now i am listening to "within temptation" which is a band like evanesance, only i heard of this guys years ago ... and evenescence copied. but both are copies of kate hudson, if anyone knows who that is...

well children, time to go. love you all.... especially jen.

2004-07-11T13:52:00.000-04:00

colin-man, colin-man
does whatever a colin *pause music* (not a colon) *play music* can.
drinks some beer, any kind
parties like sixty-nine
look out here comes the colinman

is he strong? listen bud
he's got great canadian blood
can he play some hockey?
take a look on the ice
hey there goes the colin-man

2004-07-11T13:07:00.000-04:00

hello everybody.

hi dr. asshole.

well fuck me sideways. beeeeen busy lately. and guess what? i am busy right now. i am currently sitting in pickering at my aunts house, chilling on the net talking to joel mainly. and just sitting around in the hot tub. enjoying the weather. that sorta thing. it's nice. and everyone knows or will in 2 seconds how much i love summer, cuz i love summer, now everyone knows. it's on the internet. wayyyy cool... i remember back in the day when you were wayyy special (not in the i need a helmet to walk way either) if you had shit on the net. now it's totally like meh....

anyways, i have a golf tourni coming up with the TTC. i am going to take first place of course, cuz i am special, right everyone?? rah rah rah. damn. i seemed to have lost it. but you guys still love me right?

i guess i should apologize for the serious lack of blogging as of late. but really. i dont have much time these days. been busy at working with stupid hoe of a boss. and what little free time i do have, jen takes up about 95% of it. so that leaves 5% for the rest of you. but jen is gone to calgary for two weeks :-( ... yes i am sad. but i suppose joel will be happy cuz he gets to have me for two weeks, then after that ... it's back to be being ex boyfriend. sorry joel. everyone here sympathsizes with you, except jen prolly.

i love MSN. i can see if someone is online, ask them a question then proceed to say "well i am outta here" ... when really i stay online, i just have nothing useful to say that given person at that given time. i love technology... i am the king of the world. ok ok ok slight exageration. but we all know its true, right people? c'mon work with me here!

anywho, waterloo next weekend to see lynn, marg, sean and whoever else i may encounter. lynn and i are going to have a ramones party. exclusively just her and i. cuz no one else listens to the damn band. i think some phils may be in order, and whatever else they have planned for that weekend. should be good times...

you guys should buy a 2-4 of laker. i will pay the $1/bottle that i drink. or maybe get a big 40 oz-er ... hmmm alcohol. god i sound like an alchie. but i am not. because i dont go to meetings.

well my children of the lamb (what the fuck does that mean?) ... i must be off. there is some warm apple pie calling my name. (nothing to do with that movie american pie, you sickos...)

2004-06-26T12:54:00.000-04:00

so you'll have to excuse the lack of blogging lately. but this should make up for it. i hope.

first a lil' anecdote. katie and i were talking one time ... yes the red headed katie that has a link my page. that one. you got it. so we were talking one time and all of a sudden a blue-veined junket pumper is sent to me from katie. like what is this? it came in the form of an emoticon. yes that's right an emoticon as a John Thomas. how appropriate i thought. so katie where did you get this emoticon of this piece of pork? i didn't really want to know ...

so i've been sick lately. and being sick sucks. especially if u have an ass of boss. so i dont even get sick days. and yeh. sick sucks.

well i just played guitar for a while. and i am hungry.

2004-06-17T21:47:00.000-04:00

so this is a note for lynn. download some music by "common ground". especially: all your fault. i like that one. but they have other good ones.

katie might wanna look into that as well.

so this sunday is fathers fay. the first time i spelt that farthers. yeh i'm a retard. dont need to remind me. i know it. ... and i was also saying that it's jen and i's 6 month anniversary thinger on sunday. so dont expect me to be around too much. but this is a good thing...

lynn: any hints on how to go well in 140? i dont think it'll be hard. it's taught by some Simon dude. same guy u had? maybe i should get a bachelor of punk ... that'd be cool. screw CS. i emailed the guy and made sure he'd do punk, he said sure. none of that hip hop bullshit.

anyways, i am kinda tired. sleeeeeeeeeepie time.

2004-06-16T18:10:00.000-04:00

in case anyone cares.

my sched.

2004-06-15T22:47:00.000-04:00

welll hello world. and what's happening with you?

i'm at home. readying "ender's game" recommened and given to me .. by no other then jen. surprise surprise, eh? and i got my hands on a book that i been looking for for ages. its called "world of collision" by immanuel velikozsky. yes you think i am crazy, no i dont care.

today was another very shitty day at work. that's another one added to the list. the boss just blows big nuts. what can i say. i got yelled at for my boxers hanging out when i bend over. like shut up. you just jealous cuz u cant get any cuz u a not-so-fat 50 year old women.

she has no life. i am not joking. she works from 9:30am till 10 pm. 5 days a week. HELLO ... talk about no life. like she has No life written on a yellow post-it right on her forehead.

what pisses me off most tho, is she wants me to prove my trust to her. she should trust me first, and if i break that, then screw me. dont screw me and make me proof it, c'mon what kind of facist bullshit is this?

anyways, bed time i think.

this will be the third night in a row that i attempt to watch "when harry met sally" so i need to finish it at some point.

2004-06-12T22:52:00.000-04:00

son of an effing #$%^ !#^$ #$&# *(@# @#$%^ ... yes that is right.

so i sit here. alone. on a saturday at 10:52. why? cuz i'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me. wait, that's a beck song, not a colin song. i need to learn to type. i mispelt every word of this sentence including this one. so i love a/c. if i didn't have it ... i would ... i would ... errr roast like joel in his oven of a house. not fun. he bought a fan today, and it dont fit together so well. i suggest he bring back and be like, make it work mutha sucka. yeh that's right. anywho ...

where is everyone? cuz i am L-O-N-E-L-Y ... indeed, eh? that's with CAPITAL letters, to emphasize a point. get it? i hope so, cuz i sure don't.

does anyone read this. this is going to be a test. see how much of my blog people read, cuz like i bet some people read the first line and are just like "forget this fool, he's nuts". i may be nuts, but that doesn't mean i dont have anything good to say, or does it?

and this song is whiny and pissing me off. next song...

i'm listening to eminem. WHY? you may ask this. and i don't have an answer, cept i think his music his funny. he makes fun of everything. and he's white, so it can't really be rap. ha.

anyways, i think a movie is in store right about ... wait for it ... wait .... wait for it. NOW.

hope everyone had a good weekend ...

and that's the 10:52 news my fellow companions.

2004-06-09T14:36:00.000-04:00

so intersting hits of late:

some guy in germany had translate.google.com translate my website for him. weird...

another hit for: yemeni girls like fucking

and: mary mac's father making ... which is the lyrics to a song mary mac.

2004-06-09T14:28:00.000-04:00

so i just shaved. yay! ... but i shaved with a Schick Quattro (c). Now the only difference I noticed between that and the Mach 3 (c) is that I cut myself FOUR times instead of THREE.

Good thing, I got the razor for free. cuz it's are-yew-bee-bee-eye-ess-aych--rubbish.

2004-06-09T13:57:00.000-04:00

so blogging has been keep to a minimum lately. you'll have to excuse me. i've been crazy busy. today (wednesday) i am not feeling so well, so i called it a day and called in sick. so i've been watching TV and having a lil sleep all day. 'til now i decided a shower would be in order.

well for the past three weekends i have been out of town. the first two were spent at a cottage just north west of toronto. joel and jen came for a weekend each. 'twas nice. drank a lot of beer, surprise? i hope not. so the parents met jen. and it was two nice weekends.

the latest weekend i went to kingston and then to ottawa. i had my sister's graduation in kingston and a family re-union in ottawa. so i left ottawa monday at 6am on a train to toronto, went right to work. so 'twas a long weekend. too long. and my god did i drink a lot of beer. it was like 12 hours of drinking. ohhh man.

ohh and my laptop got stolen, which really bites the dirt bag. hopefully, the insurance will cover it. as my parents got me a new one. (i lent it to them while they were in canada, and it got stole from them). so they left obliged to buy me a new one. i was very angry that some rat bastard took it. anywho, i am over that.

well, i will hopefully be blogging more often now that i am not so damn busy. but i must shower.

adieu

2004-05-27T22:29:00.000-04:00

does anyone read this besides katie? like come on.

the last 18.32 comments have been "katie: weeeeee", "katie: yay", "katie: huzzah" ...

like throw me a bone or something. no wait. don't

i went to see the offspring again last night. it was good. read my blog from like dec 3 or so and that pretty much details what i do at concerts. and my back is all messed now. damnit. so i crowd surfed, and yeh.

the flames lost tonight. grrrrr ... so it's a best of 5 now. next game saturday.

this weekend is spending it with my jen and family (well parents really). good engwish, eh colin?

and bed.

2004-05-25T23:08:00.000-04:00

so long time no blog, eh?

ohh my that was chessy ... doo da doo.

just in case you are completly ignorant, calgary made it to the finals. and they won game ONE 4-1. that's rockin'!

what else is new in the daily life of colin?

not a heck of a lot. tomorrow is another offspring colin concert. check out entries around beginning of december for details. prolly worth a few good laughs i would imagine. speaking of which, how on earth is it friggin' may (almost june)? like my god. time flies.

ohh jen and i recently surpassed 5 whole months together. yay for jen and i. and i met her mom and sister last night. it went quite well. her mom doesn't like my ear ring tho. ohhh well. jen also met my parents ... briefly ... for like two seconds.

my parents are in canada obviously. they bought me a new TV, which is nice to have to watch hockey games whilst in bed and stuff. and one of those VCR thingers ... soley so i can tape stuff for my dad (i.e. greycup games and future hockey games). so that is a ncie addition to my room. speaking of which i need to clean this place again. i am so tired. i slept late last night, and need sleep now. so i am off. jen is supposed to call me anyways, so i best turn my attention to her, sorry all of you. i love you all ...

2004-05-17T23:53:00.000-04:00

so i am waiting for jen to call me. doo da doo. i left the flames game at 3-0. it's pretty safe to say the flames got that one under wraps. go flames go. one more game and it's the finals. yeee haw. all you canadian bastards better be cheering for the flames, none of those other crap ass american teams. otherwise i am out for you. grrrr.

so work was boring as crap today. boss was no where to be seen. so i did nothing. and boy i hate doing nothing. but i sure did nothing. i even pondered just leaving. dont want to waste my valuable time. anwyays, enough is enough i say.

what's new everyone? how is this summer term treating y'all?

i hope everyone is good. cuz i am off to bed
ciao.

2004-05-16T23:04:00.000-04:00

first a word brought to us by our sponsors:

I hate a lot of whites and I hate a lot of blacks
I hate poopin’ in public places but we all hate that
I hate lesbian feminists because they’re all so damn ugly
I hate spin magazine cause they never ever plug me
I hate regis and I hate kathie lee
I hate every single movie by that midget spike lee
I hate people that think I care what they think
I hate people that think their ass don’t stink
I hate jon bon jovi but I hate his music more
I hate killing people because I hate to keep score
I hate you but you hate yourself too
I hate to be honest but I’d hate to be you
And I don’t give a damn if you don’t like me
Cause’ I don’t like you cause you’re not like me

that's funny. it's from bloodhound gang. anyways
playlist playing is "sleep music" i am off.

2004-05-13T23:56:00.000-04:00

so i sit here and listen to the theme song to "last of the mohicans" ... one hell of a movie, and a great soundtrack.

i also bought master and commander on DVD, another excellent soundtrack. speaking of which, pirates of the caribbean has a sweet soundtrack as well. that in hand ... i shall listen to it.

errrr, can't find it. i settled for some pachebel. canon rules.

anyways, calgary is in the midst of game three with san jose and i am too bloody tired to watch it. so i opt to sleep.

ohh and by the way i miss my jen.

it's friday tomorrow. that means a few things. 1.) i can wear jeans to work; 2.) saturday is near. i like saturdays, sundays are alright, but saturdays by far the best day of the week.

well work has been as busy as ever. the fucking secretary of my group is one annoying hoe. my god she drives me absolute bonkers. i just wanna shoot her in the foot. like let's get something straight. she is one dumb panda .. (errr wait, robin williams is coming back aghhh) ... ok and she must know she is dumb. so why is she working in the IT sector? like go bag groceries or something ... man i can't stand her. i might quit because of her.

and the boss. well the boss iss a boss. very professional. like shit has to be done by the book. not so much fun.

speaking of books ... ohh no wait.

speaking of something or another i am going to sleep.

2004-05-11T19:25:00.000-04:00

hello all. i promise i am ok!

w00t.

i hope y'all like the new layout. anyways, still working on it. tell me what you think. opinions and all.

2004-05-10T22:23:00.000-04:00

so guys are dumb. yes, that's right i said it. we are dumb. we are perhaps the dumbest living things on this planet. but why are we dumb you may ask? simply because women and men don't think alike. and therefore neither can fully understand each other's thoughts, actions and such things. but there has to be some answer? i mean, it seems that the only men who understand women completly have limp wrists? so like i dunno.

times like these ... these absolute shite days, where i feel like the only thing that will make me feel better is the un-mentionable. that's right you guessed it... throwing my computer out the window.

it seems for the majority of my mature (or lack of maturity one could say) life, i've always seemed to be that shoulder to cry on, even though most people can't even reach my shoulder when they stand on their toes, let alone cry on it. but let's speak metaphorically here. because it works, k?

but seriouslly, friends from all over the world have come to me. now where are you when i need you most? seems like what comes around, just doesn't go around, doesn't it. life's a bitch. i guess you can't really expect it. they say if you give a friend a favor, don't expect a favor in return ... so i suppose i could be in the wrong doing here. but i dont think so ...

so if i were me, and someone came to me ... what would i tell them?

#1.) stop whining like a little bitch.
#2.) humans are prone to error. everyone makes mistakes, 'tis not the end of the world my friend.

but what do you say to her? like what can be said? "i'm sorry" only goes so far, and frankly not far enough. it doesn't even begin to express what i am going through right now. i hope SHE knows and understands that.

i also can't forget what i have done. belive me I KNOW. i don't need to be told again. so the only thing keeping me going right now is the persistence of joel trying to cheer me up. talking about the scare-d-cat in his room going nuts over a piece of string. i admit it is amusing, but just don't cut the cake, sorry joel.

so how do you tell someone how you truly feel? words just dont seem to cut it. how do you tell someone that they mean the world to you? how do you tell someone you are sorry for what you've done? how do you tell them that you'd be a wheel with no spokes without them? how do you tell someone that you couldn't bare to hurt them? how do you tell someone that you love them more than anything???

soooo many questions. yet so few answers.
remember, we can only learn to love by loving.

and with that:
Love is a thing, well, its kind of like quicksand:
the more you are in it, the deeper you sink.
and when it hits you, you've just gotta fall.

2004-05-10T21:56:00.000-04:00

what is with this new layout. go screw yourself sideways blogger.

and now a note brought to us by our sponsors.

there once was a kid named johnnie. johnnie was a good little boy. he loved his mommie and daddie. did well in school, and was by far the most popular kid in school. needless to say he had lots of friends. one day johnnie flipped out and started breaking shit left, right and don't forget centre. now johnnie is in jail being raped by a large inmate. now, children what is the moral of the story?

there is no fucking moral. that's life.

2004-05-09T13:27:00.000-04:00

so yeh. i've been lacking pretty bad as of late with respect to this blog stuff. i am sorry. i am busy and dont have some crap job where i can write blogs all day. anyways ...

i saw Jerry Seinfeld last night. he's pretty funny. altho, his humor is just about basics of life. he had soem black guy start for him, who tried too hard to be chris rock. he was still funny. so that was highlight of the weekend. thanks joel!

i also, went to see ... guess who!??!?!?!?!?!

Jen no doubt.

We went to the movies. we saw mean girls. yes yes yes, i know a totaly chick flick. but i am going out with a chick, and thats how it works...
actually, i will admit, that it had some entertaining parts, but as a movie ... it sure isn't academy award quality. and then we went to williams, where i swear i saw a girl who goes to UW and is in my program, but i am not 100% sure. and then i came home. and sleeped.

sleep is good. i forgot what it means to get up at some un-godly hour to go to work/school. of course, me being the lazy guy i am ... i tend to not schedule classes early. eve 1030s are soemtimes rough to make. i like 1130, those are a good time. the good thing is, my boss doesn't arrive until ... like whenever she does after 9. and i am supposed to be there at 8. so i do have some leeway. my co-workers are cool. i enjoy them. a good group or team, or whatever we are.

so today canada plays sveden ja for the gold medal. and sveden ja now has peter forseberg and niklas lidstrom (stupid calgary beating the red wings thus giving up a superb defensemen, and damn san jose beating colorado) ... ok ok ok ... so i can deal with the flames baeting the red wings, but san jose giving the svedes ja peter is suicide. thanks you bunch of californian bastards. speaking of which, like 99% of the team is canada. who am i kidding? wait ... who are we kidding. ohh no wait. who is the NHL trying to kid. no one watches california in hockey. errrrr ... hockey in california. actually, contrary to popular belied, there is a VERY VERY good hockey program in cali. anywho, everyone better watch the god damn game. otherwise, you aren't canadian. yeh so ... go

other hockey news: the calgary flames managed to upset vancouver and detroit. which ... if u didn't already know, i am born in calgary ... and needless to say i am a flames fan. and yes joel ... i like redundancy, prolem with that? page me ...

canada vs. sweden: 2pm TSN

calgary vs. san jose: 4pm CBC

and YES I can watch BOTH games at once with PIP ... or picture in picture, way cool, eh? i think so! and its not like crappy PIP ... its like i split the screen in two and watch both games. (did i mention the TV is like 60 inches? so each screen is 30 inches each ... so it really does work .....)

ok my children. i am going to be off .... ciao!

2004-05-04T21:16:00.000-04:00

For Sale:

ONE (1) Silver Panasonic Discman (SL-SX280); 40 seconds anti-skip system; takes two AA. leave comment for more info.

2004-05-03T21:22:00.000-04:00

*colin breaks out in an off tune acapelo*

happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to joel,
happy birthday to you!

2004-05-03T18:29:00.000-04:00

so i had my first day of work today. i'd say it went relatively well, especially considering the fact that that effing virus killed like half the computers, of course i don't really need to fix it. i just need to be there. i didn't do much today, except read a few manuals. i learned a bit about the software i was going to be using. fixed my machine, read two of my 6 emails, and decided to call it a day. so i came home. watched the highlights of that craptacular czech-canada game, which i will mention ne'er again.

i had some food. food is good. i like it. mmmmmmmmm ... i need MORE food, anyone surprised?

here is the highlight of my day. 'twas a txt msg i recieved from my buddy joel. it went like this: "Fucking cheap beer. i have puked like 6 times today. taking it easy tonite." ... apparently joel couldn't handle the booze last night.

ohh and joel, if anyone hears about a wrecked yellow porsche boxster, we know why that junkie didn't get back to us.

ohhh my boss is sorta bitchy. which blows peanuts. but my co-workers are pretty cool. so that makes up.

more anon young yearlings....

2004-04-29T16:31:00.000-04:00

so it's been ages since i updated. sorry. i've been nusy. with what you may ask? well to be perfectly honest, I don't know. but i have been....

i've been spending a lot of time with jen lately. mainly due to the fact that i am back in toronto, and i haven't started working yet. ohh yah and then there is hockey. which i had three nights in a row, so that wiped me out for a few days. so yeh.

i bought a $177 toothbrush today. damn dentists that charge lots of money. joel, tell your dad to cut the damn prices ...

and tonight going to see a movie with jen. and i have no more new news.

2004-04-23T22:36:00.000-04:00

i love filing taxes. cuz i get big cheques for beaucoup de cash. i love it.
i also signed up for gmail. no, i am not black and dont live in tha ghetto. its google mail. and it rocks. you get 1000MB. how fucking cool is that?

i like. i like alot. and i must say. i am bored. living on a farm blows monkey nuts. how do you people in carp thrive? i wanna like shoot myself with this craptacular dialup crap. the only good thing is we have satellites. THREE of them. so beaucoup de televisione. mais, my aunt and uncle usually control the shit. so no hockey for me. booo urns.

but i cant complain too much. i come here and eat ... for like free. so i am mucho mooch. although, i gave them a free computer and provide technical support to my entire extended family. which blows. but whatever. u gonna get a computer degree. might as well put it to use. altho, most people have no idea what CS is. they think its fucking technical support. NO. technical support is just something i have that adds onto the tech side. CS and technical support. not much in common, cept a computer. CS'ers generally lack ALL social skills. minus joel and I (well its safe to say at least me). and tech support people need social skills, but sometimes lack tech skills. kinda tough to find the right mix.

well lynn is done work. and she is abandoning us stream 4 people for streamm (extra m WAS necessary) 8 people. grrrrrrr. thanks lynn. you will never live this one down. unless you generouslly donate a ONE (1) XBox to me.....

anywho, i think ... getting away from computer is good idea.

2004-04-23T10:25:00.000-04:00

planes, trains and shut the hell up ...

k, you all feel bad for joel cuz he has to sit in a plane for THREE hours. i would like to draw you to a few points.
1# (or#1): joel is 5 foot nothing. i am 6 foot something. get it? if not, i dont fit in sits. like literally.
#2: joel has one simple journey of three hours, then home. i have a nice 8 hour plane ride. not to home, but to europe. then i have like 8 hours there to do NOTHING but sit around and be bored [mind you drunk] in a freaking airport. then i get on another 8 hour plane ride. fun? joel's got nothing. now i have to do this twice. there and back, and i used to do it three times a year.

when i finally get to this place called home which really isnt home, i stay for 4 days, then leave. mind you, i do have one thing going for me. ALL THE FREAKING FREE BOOZE in the world. literally. but you cant really be drunk for 30 hours straight. that would be very painful. so some sobering up time is a given, which is never fun on a plane.

now, let me give you this advice. if it takes you 1 beer on earth to get you drunk, it takes one sip on a plane, if it takes 5 beers, it takes 2. man that shit hits you hard. i'll drink ONE beer and be slighty buzzed. where as while on the mother land i can drink ... 5 or so before being buzzed.

damn leg fell asleep. wake up damnit. ohhh well dont really need it anyways ...

so yeh. i dunno why i am up so early. ohh right. my sister called me. and i cant get back to sleep. and no one is on MSN right now. so i choose to blog. la de da. i think i am off peoples. no more sympathy for joel's not-so-craptacular 3 hour plane ride which he fits much better in then me.

now, i will give joel some credit. because a lot of the time i fly, it's on business. NO my parents dont pay. its called being a loyal customer and they upgrade me. yay.

2004-04-21T22:38:00.001-04:00

so all i have to say is that dial-up licks ass. it's so slow. took me 20 minutes to download 2 MB. on cable it comes in like 30 seconds. none of this crap waiting. i hate waiting. especially for slow internet. grrr. and my aunts computer is a hunk of junk. and colin "tech support for entire extended family" is expected to fix the problem with a snap of a finger. but i dont whats wrong with it. i think the fucking fucker is fucked.

good thing i brought my laptop. this way i can remain sane and play games or something. even tho i brought one game, still haven't installed it yet tho. all i've done it sleep, eat, watch tv ... and yeh. pretty much nothing. which is spantastic. i did see jen, and i will see her again tomorrow. this is a good thing ladies and gentlemen....

guess what joel????

we're done!

i have a meeting tomorrow with my work. and we get to discuss various things. like pay. i like pay. cuz it means money goes from their bank account to mine. and the more money they give me, the happier i am. because, money ... well i can buy things like laptops and million diamond rings for certain individuals.

ohhh, and i am back to playing a bit of hockey. which is a good thing. i am quite excited to get back on the ice this sunday. this will be a good thing.

anyways people. the idiot box (aka televisione) is calling my name, and i best aknowledge its existence.

2004-04-18T12:26:00.000-04:00

so i've got this statistics thing going for my blog. here are some interesting notes:

United Kingdom: found my UW site and then went to my blog.

Yemen: came from this link: http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=fuck very nice girls&ei=UTF-8&fr=fp-tab-web-t&n=20&fl=0&x=wrt
For those of you who are computer not literate. some horny little arab in yemeni searched yahoo for "fuck very nice girls" ... hahahahahaha ... lol

I've had some visitors from the Netherlands too ...

ohh and someone came to my site via: http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=nice_shoes%2C_wanna_fuck%3F&ei=UTF-8&fr=fp-tab-web-t&cop=mss&tab=

Which is kinda odd. Who would search Yahoo for "nice shoes wanna fuck"?? i dunno. some weird people out there. like that yemeni guy ...

2004-04-17T19:50:00.000-04:00

fuck you cs251. blow me! you sure ripped me a new one ... joel too. ohh wait, you ripped everyone a new one. how kind.

and welcome cs241. i hope you dont like raping innocent students like me. and hrm200 ... ehhh ... who am i kidding. hrm is a fucking joke. i know the 9 pages out of the 300 page textbook that i need to study. yay for easy shit like arts courses. HOORAY!

so i should get back to studying. just wanted everyone to know that i didn't need to go to the hospital due to the ass rapage ... but damn close. hopefully i pass. i got a new phone number. but no one calls me except joel, so i wont bother giving it to you.

salaam (look it up)

2004-04-16T16:54:00.000-04:00

so i sit on campus with joel ... "studying". weee it's fun. CS251 today. kinda blows goats in the immortal words of animal felatio. this weekend is going to be fun. ohhh sooo fun. studying for my last two exams on monday. sounds like a partay if you ask me. yay!

a naked lady walked into a bar, under one arm she had a poodle, under the other arm she had a 6 pound sausage ....

note to all: i want exams to be over. now.

2004-04-14T21:18:00.000-04:00

I hate people that are crazy leaf fans ... just because it's cool. Like they watch the game because everyone else is. Like fuck off you. They scream stuff like "idiot what are you doing?" ... umm dude. they get paid millions to do that. they know what they are doing. sit down ... wait take a shower ... then leave. and then "FUCK!". shut up room mate. i try to study. you dont know the first thing about hockey.

2004-04-14T09:01:00.000-04:00

so exam today. and tomorrow, and the next day. can we say weeeeeeeeee?

k, see i ahve this friend, lets call him jim-bob. now jim-bob hates girls. why? cuz they are bitches, biAtches, biz-nitches, cuntscabs, penis wrinkles, and all types of other names. some are even stinky. yet i have this other friend, lets call her mary-sally-jane. she complains that there are no hot, nice, and SINGLE boys left. and i said sure there are. so she hates boys cuz they are assholes or dicks. do i see a contradiction? or should jim-bob and mary-sally-jane get married? hmmm ... who cares if they are brother and sister anyways....

note to all: dont put oatmeal in the fridge in hope it will still be good 10 hours later. it turns to rock. baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad idea.

off to examiningingnering.

2004-04-11T11:03:00.000-04:00

to blog ... or to not to blog. that is the question. and the answer? i don't fucking know. sue me.

so NHL playoffs have started. here are my predictions:

west:
detroit
san jose
calgary
colorado

east:
tampa bay
boston
philli
toronto

GO FLAMES GO!

and i saw two movies in the past two days.

first thing: i hate how the movies now have some no name asshole preaching to us about copyright. fuck copyright. if i can get something for free. i will. (note: all of us sitting here watch this bullshit paid for the damn ticket)

second: "the ladykillers" ... fucking weird mate. but in the immortal words of heather "very clever". indeed it was. at first i was angry with the movie. but i later began to appreciate it. which is where i am at now. orignal indeed. although i must say Tom Hanks was not the right character for the professor. and it wasn't really a comedy, as much as a drama. regardless i give it a thumbs up

third: "the girl next door" ... why am i watching chick flicks? who knows. but she's HOT! nothing gets my juices flowing like Elisha Cuthbert ... well of course except for JEN. but thats a given. 'twas very orignal and a tad surprising as well. very very liberal and definitly should NOT be rated 14A as it is. holy smokes. i was old enough to be some of those kids dads.... whoops getting carried away here. so the movie with popular mechanics hottie gets a two thimbs up.

and that's all for my movie review, hockey telecastering job. (yes i mis-spelt telecasting ... so what? i'm lazy)

2004-04-10T21:42:00.000-04:00

check out the playoff grid

2004-04-08T00:49:00.000-04:00

note to self and all: don't use HTML "<" and ">" thingers in blog.