MARK THIS DAY IN HISTORY AS THE DAY I FINALLY GOT EVERY SINGLE SIMPSONS EPISODE TO DATE.

What a feat ...

hear ye hear ye hear ye!

on this day, the twenty-eigth of september, two thousand and four, forith ... i hereby proclaim the use of blogness to be utilized in only such a manner that an old english monarch would thereby approve of. else thou canst aroint thee witch.

the needeth for such wording is obligatory to blah blah blah ... fuck that shit.

I got an interview ... *sticks tongue out* ... neener neener neener. hehe. it's some web development job. i figured the best way to get a job is apply for ones that i actually have qualifications for. even if i dont have the qualifications for.

but it's HTML. it's not even programming. my 84 year old grandma could do it. what makes me qualified is that I am one of THREE individuals who speaks french in this town. which makes me the smalliest minority in this university. aside from that non-existent albino who nobody ever sees because he is soo white he is just see thru. speaking of albinos ... anyone ever read the da vinci code. and speak of being wayyyy off on a tangent... ohh dear. did i just use math terms in my daily language. doh!

life cannot be complete without a quote from the simpsons.

speaking of the simpsons... when i left this morning my 35 GB file of every single god damn episode was 98.1% complete. which means i am damn close to having every single episode. but the new season is here and such, i won't have every single episode for long. shame.

anyways, jen came to se my this weekend. 'twas a great weekend. very enjoyable i thought. yeppers. we didn't do much that any of you really care to know about ... so i will just leave up to your imaginations.

lynn went to the carp fair. and since everyone is blogging about the carp fair i figured i should. since it is the cool thing to do after all. after all .... after alll? i am just as lost as joel is right now.

speaking of joel he just left. who cares? i dont really. he went to WLU ... that's short for "What a fucking shitty high schooL down the street that rips yoU off." WLU. get it? i think joel might. otherwsie you should press "ATL" + "F4" then fairies will come out of your computer and give the best head ever ... i promise. if u blieve me just try it. if the window closes ... re-try it again and again. it will work sometime. i promise. i am not pulling yer leg.

tim hortons has this new thing called steeped tea. which is such a crock of shit. it used to be that tea cost you 98 cents no matter what size. but they wanted to charge you more for the same shit. so they came up with this thing called steeped tea. which means they take the same tea bag that they used to give you. make THREE cups of tea, and sell them all for a higher price and only using one third of the tea bags. what bullshit is this ... yet i still keep paying them the money. i dont know why ....

i guess i should mention that the hockey team i play for won their first hockey game 3-0. 'twas fun. not really exciting. but i was thinking of offering my services to the toronto maple leafs for free. y'know. i will play for them for nothing. just give me equipment and that and i will be set.

anyways ... i am sorta sick of this stupid computer. it's ugly and scaring me too much.

yay for lynn switching back to the cool stream. none of this stream 8 horseshit. just kidding. i love you all. wait a minute. marg or sean won't even read this. and i dont really know anyone else on stream 8 that would read this. so screw you for not reading my blog. unless you do read my blog. then you are ok.

k i said i was gonna go. so i am gonna go. go go go ... now ... i swear.

good day.

DA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA
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COLIN-MAN!

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COLIN-MAN!

So. What has happened since I last blogged? Well, let's see ... I confessed my un-dying love for that special girl of mine ... again. Because really, you can't do it enough. I went to Phils, didn't get philed like I got bombered at the Bomber. (Does anyone get that? 'Cause I don't).

I'm apparently playing soccer this term. And of course I am playing Ice Hockey with Owen Nolan (aka Julie Dunham). I led last year's league in goals, assists, and penalties. The penalties don't surprise me. Everything else does.

And I am still downloading EVERY SINGLE GOD DAMN SIMPSONS EPISODE. And it's still only at 85%. Here's Joel bitching about a download having 30 hours left. WHEN MINE has 200 hourss left and has been going for about a month or so. When I started the slated time was 1000 hours. So I would say I am getting there. I'd reckon another week to a week and a half we should be 100%. Then I have every episode. So what am I going to do with this? Pretty much nothing y'know.

Tomorrow is the second week of classes. 12 more to go. Yes I am counting down to another work term. 'Cuz school sucks, and so does work? That means Jen is going to have to start raking in the dough. I'll do the babies, cooking, cleaning, and sitting on ass getting fatter watching football.

'CAUSE I CAN'T FUCKING WATCH HOCKEY ANYMORE. What a bunch of greedy assholes. I was thinking. What if I came up with a proposal for the league. Like I will find hockey players who will play for say $100,000 per year. So that's roughly 30 players per team, so a payroll of 3 million. The league average was 1.79 million last season, so this isn't even twice that. I would be there for sure. I'll be the number one draft choice for the Calgary Flames. That would be interesting. I mean it is entirely feasible. I just wish I knew Gary Bettman's phone number. DAMNIT. (BTW, if anyone reads this and takes my idea, I WILL SUE. Cuz I put (c) on this page. It is owned by me. No copying is allowed).

And this has been long enough. Do I need to add anything else? I don't think so. I'd be surprised if ANYONE made it down here. If you did, you get a free coke.

And that's all from the Batcave.

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COLIN-MAN!

so it's official. joel and i are twins?

i dunno.

last night was first bomber night. and got bombered in honor of that. and kicked out ... not once but twice. yes. and took ride safe home. ride safe rules.

class blow. that is all i can say.

profs are crap. uw is crap.

so yeh.

well well well.

how are my children doing this fine day?

HEY lynn, guess what i did this weekend????

i saw jen! can we sayyyyyyyy sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!! i think so!

so i went to kingston this past weekend to see my lovely girlfriend jen. and while in kingston i posed as a frosh. with wirstband and all. am i cool or what? well, i mean ... having the wrist band was just my poise to go to a sum41 concert. which rocked my boxers right off. yeh. i went to a free sum41 concert as a queen's "frosh". i finally got to live my fantasy of being an arts student. i got to hang out with a bunch of artsies ... and i ddin't worry about being some waterlo-ser cs guy.

but seriouslly, sum41 was good. the only bad thing was most the people there dont know a good punk show. so i couldn't really get into it properlly. nonetheless. i did some crowd surfing. best of all. my jen had a kick ass time.

overalll i rate this weekend..... a 10. cuz i got to see my girl!!! yay!

and how is everyone else??

so ... i'm proud to say that i have TWO WHOLE friends. i.e. joel and lynn. who voted on my voter thinger. while a woping 67% of people are just random dudes or dudettes. thankfuly no one thinks my site sucks. if i were a random person i would have said "you're site sucks" ... site unseen. no doubt. but i'm an ass, or a dick according to lynn. surprisingly 8% of people are my girlfriend ... so lets see, if this poll is accurate to 3% ... 19/20 times. that could mean that 5% of the world's population (is/are, fucking english was never a strength of mine)? my girlfriend(s). that's like wow, the numbers are too big to do in my head. but somewhere in the range of 300 million people. i think. so the entire population of the United States of Americans is my girlfriends. but ... i'll take the ONE i got ... which really should just be 1.666666666666666667 x 10^-10% or something of the worlds population. lynn please do the math. that's like ... 0.000000000166666666666667 ... let's just say she is 0.0000000002% of the world's population. in other words ... she is perfect.

what else is new in the life of colin. in the immortal wods of billy connolly ... fuck off. cuz there ain't too much. i've been doing nothing. watching movies. being lazy. reading books.

there is a swimmimg pool right across the street from my house. which is pretty happening if you ask me.

so i'm going to force some input of those who actually make it to this line. so lynn, joel, jen ... random people. what should my next poll be? first, we will gather all the ideas, have a poll on which idea is best ... then i'll do a poll on that. that's not redundant ... at all. fuckin' redundancy. actually this is redundant. the past like ... 500 words prolly have. i'm just one redundant guy. can i use you redundant one more time ... yes fuck you redundancy.

annnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyways. i'm out. my brain hurts.

ps i just tried to get my email from hoemail. and it said "the server is too busy" like fuck you the server is too busy. give me my fucking email from lynn.

pps- ps has a whole new meaning, read tha da vinci code

*queueueueueueueueueueueueueues music*

duh duh duh duh duh

heading on the highway
looking for adventure

going 98 kilometers per hour
yeh i love rocking in u-haul

so i am about to embark on a road trip in the biggest piece of shit vehicle you will have ever seen. the thing goes max 98. and i have a 100 some odd kms to drive. so you can only imagine that this is gonna drive me nuts. there's no cd player, no tape deck, just an am/fm fucking radio.

so it's gonna be me and the golden oldies alll the way down. yeeee haww. and joel ditched me so i don't have a right hand side mirror. ohhh well. i'm apologizing right now to any inocent people's bumpers that i ruin. but i got the bigger truck mutha fucking.

Truckin' got my chips cashed in.
Keep truckin', like the do-dah man
Together, more or less in line, just keep truckin' on.

*turns off music realising he really can't sing*

there are two songs on the blog. name them and win a free ...

(no cheating with google either)