i spoke with the dumbest person ever today. and i mean THE.

my parents asked me to call Sears to order a part for their garage door opener. so i did ... being the good little boy that i am.
here are some snips from the conversation:
She asked for my credit card. one of the numbers is 2300
i said "two thousand 3 hundred"
and she repeated "two-zero-zero-three sir?"
me: "no two three zero zero"
her "two zero zero three sir?"
me: "NO ... listen to the words that are coming out of my mouth: TWO THREE ZERO ZERO"

and she had even more trouble with the address:
me: "forty eight fifty sideline 6"
her: "four eight zero five fiveline 6, sir?"
*click*

No i didn't really hang up. then at the end she said "sorry for the confusion sir" ... i felt like saying "no, i'm sorry for you because you are a few cards short of a full deck" ... she's lucky to have a job. she should start her own show "the world's dumbest people" ... she would be the star no doubt.

I then told my mom "mom, i just spoke with the dumbest person ever."
my mom: "why"
me: "trust me."

anyways, one more day of class. wooo hoooooooooooooooo...

i had a dream last night ... yes a dream. (not like the MLK dream tho, much less significant). so back to my story. this dream ... it wasn't about jen ... because i don't usually share dreams with others like that, i tend to keep them to myself. but it was about someone else. and this someone else is reading this as we speak. or i speak. or write. or whatever the hell i'm doing here.
so i bet i got alll of you on the edge of your seats now? you are panting like dogs to find out what this dream is all about, eh? well i'll tell you. but don't say I didn't warn you. because i did warn you ... right here. warning.
ok here is the moment we've all been waiting for. i had a dream about joel. not really about him, sorry tat's misworded. more like it was him (but not really him) and me. and in this dream, joel and i were talking on MSN. that's right. i had a dream that joel and i were chatting on MSN.

double-yew-tee-eff mate?

life. 'tis one fucked up thing. my buddy Mahatma sums it up for me quite well: learn as if you were going to live forever. live as if you were going to die tomorrow.
who would have known that short dude from india with a funny accent could say such an absurd yet truthful thing?
who knows.

WARNING WARNING! DANGER DANGER!

yooo way cool.

so like i hate class. and what do you know, i have exactly 5 days of class left. and then 2 weeks off to get drunk and party with my ex-boyfriend (aka joel-e-pole-y) ... and by that I mean studying. because i need to. at least i am passing all my courses, that is a big plus i would imagine, eh? yay for passing, nay for failing. hard to believe this is second year, and after second year, i am half way through my uni career. holy crap. half way through? that means i am only two years away from living REAL life, with a family, and a job and a car. because the INSTANT you graduate all that INSTANTLY appears in your lap.

joel has been complaining a lot today. i am convinced he is a women and is currently PMSing (which really means he is my ex-girlfriend ... ewww nasty ... cuz that would be "one ugly panda bitch, i wouldn't fuck that with a kwala's dick" ... ohh i crack myself up sometimes. anyways, we were sitting in the bomber after eating (drinking?) our soup, and he says "lets go sit in the SLC" ... personally, i enjoyed the presence of TV. but i listened and we went and sat there for ... 2.5 minutes before joel had to complain "lets go somewhere else". joel, you sound like a women, you may not look like one, but my god do you ever sound like one.

so yeh. i think i am going to leave this crazy place. it's kinda not so pleasent in here.

You know what I love? Like what I really love?? (And NO Joel, not tossing a salad with jelly or syrup.) Errr, problem solved.

Wanna hear a funny story? Mike and I woke up this morning and went to the grocery store to get breakfast. And on the way out, there was this van parked next to us. And Mike called me over, and said "look at this!" ... the idiot left his keys in the rear lock ... errm can we say moron??? holy crap.

so mike and moved them to another position. we should have moved the car, but didn't think of that.

anyways, hockey today. and i feel like crap. so we'll see how well i play. i need food.

hello and welcome to today's show. we have three new contestants for you this afternoon....

and i'm on crack.

how's everyone doing today? i am good. it's friday, and i like fridays. as well jen is coming to visit for the weekend. that makes me ONE happy guy! as well there is a concert here tomorrow that i am going to, and then bomber. and there is only like 7 days of class left. that seriously rocks. where has this term gone?

so i'm currently SO occupied with MSN that i cant even blog. how pathetic is that. damn MSN being mega busy.

some guy is playing video games. dude, do you have nothing better to do on a firday night then sit in a lab the math center and play damn video games? get a life my friend!!!

anyways, this is enough from me. i'm out.

thanks for playing.

so only jen is allowed to kiss me. for obvious reasons. and tonight. well it was supposed to be one beer. turned into three or four ... and many more.

as a matter of fact, some 40 year old cougar bought me a WHOLE pitcher and some drunk guy bought me a pint of guiness and a shot of baileys. so i glady drank it all. lol.

i was made fun of for the whole night cuz a damn cougar bought me a pitcher. FORGET who bought it. its free beer. thats all what matters. anyway. i had a good night. friends passing was funny too. and me sneaking in and getting kicked out. twas a good night. anything else happen???

so what do you get when you have a bar that serves only beer that has no cash register, and a bunch of males? a bunch of drunk males. duh!

last night went to the brick brewerie and got wasted. then i came home, left a nice message on joels phone. 'twas a funny. then went out with joel. got run over by some fuck face while riding my bike. then headed over to stephs house. where i ate cookies and was the only drunk person there. everyone laughed at me. apparently, mike and the others had a grand time at roxannes. while dane puked his guts out. was a good night i must say...

then today. went to bomber with professors had a few pints, some food. and then went to class. i cannot recall ONE word the prof said. attention span was ... non-existent. and now home. and food ... again.

tomorrow is st. patty's day. w00t. and i prolly will go NO WHERE because places will be packed. we'll see. i'm irish, kiss me?

so joel is sick. which sucks. i hate being sick. and yeh .... pasta is ready....

mmmm dinner. yummy!

i'm off...

so. last night, eh? steph, steph, joel, miranda, angie, chris ... and sorry i don't remember anyone else's name. stupid me.

wow. is all i have to say.

wait i lied, i have more to say. so started off with bowling (5 pin). now how can a day go wrong if you start off bowling? impossible i say. unless you suck like me and can't hit the broad side of a barn. but it's all for fun, right? after a few hours of that, we headed home. for dinner. i had KFC. should be KFR ... for kentucky fried rat. cause i couldn't tell whether it was a leg, or a wing, or an ass. and that did a number to my stomach. note to self: kfc may taste oily ... i mean good. but dont eat it when you are going to be drinking. baaaaaaaaaad idea.

after dinner, it was kegger time. and keggers are ... well keggers. beer was drunk. beer was spilled ... on steph's pants. and colin tried to get into a bathroom with 5 girls. didn't work apparently. so more beer was drunk ... and talking was talked. weeeeeeeeee. and then ...

BOMBER TIME.

colin and his mad skills pretty much evaded the entire line and skipped to get in front. and apparently steph is my g/f now, or so the bomer staff thinks so. ohh well, it got us in quicker. and the bomber, was ... bomber like. it was fun. a lot of good times were had. laughs ... anywho ... saw mikhail and he decided to slap me ... so I bitch slapped his ass back to the stone age. no i really didn't ... but i like to think i did. makes me feel cool. am i cool yet? well ... they eventually kicked us out of the bomber. and we sat in the great hall for a while. while debating what to do. i had one thing on my mind ... no not a girl. i have a g/f remmeber. FOOOOOOOOD. wow was i hungry. so lee and i were the only ones who were hungry. so we decided to head out. along the way, we seemed to pick up some drunk prostitute like girl. she was very into talking with lee and i. but eventually i was like "lee we go this way to my house, bye sarah. if you need help call 911." and that was the last we heard from sarah.

and when we got to my place. soap opera started. nothing to do with me. all the room mates. but won't get into that. lee and i ate. and then proceeded to sleep. ohhh how i love you. mmmmmmm ... and here i am now. telling the story. enjoy....

ahhh, well after seeing one messed up site ...joel whats that site called? ... i decided to set up "stand on guard". check it out: http://standonguard.blogspot.com

I hope you get a kick out of that. Note, check out the maps.

So weekend. yay. i just wanted to tell you about that.

g'day mate. and a good to day to you too. hmm am i having a conversation with myself?

so joel and i have succesfully passed all four of our midterms. some were better then others, and some were worse. weeeeeeeeee.

we also got our work reports back. and my marker gave me some advice: avoid wordiness, redundancy, and repetitiveness. ummm isn't that slighty redundant itself? hmmm. so i looked up what she said was redundant. and it's like "...an LCD takes up 30% less desk space. As well an LCD can be mounted on an articulating arm connected to a wall." how on earth is that redudant? maybe in her artsie demented non-tech savvy mind. shut the fuck up bitch. go get a real job. gave me an "acceptable" ... i'll give her an acceptable ... an acceptable FOOT UP HER ASS!

ahhh and the joke of the week: joel and i are walking and we see this girl. colin: she looks familiar, where have i seen her?; joel: yeh. she does look familiar ... maybe we both saw her in porn.

anywho, i have to go me-stud-y-er for a stats quiz. fucking stats.

well another great weekend has past. and i successfully got like pretty much NO homework done. good job colin. *twot humbs up*

and of course, more palestinians/isrealis died, martha stewart was convicted ... guilty no doubt. whoop-dee-frigging-do. like we give a shit about martha. i think death and destruction is more vital news then "ohh god martha's gonna be someone's bitch" ... meh

it snowed today. bleck. snow. spring come back.

the first timers won their final game of the season. we are playoff bound.

i played in a thinger with jeff (aka my stoner friend), and christin. that was good fun. excpet the not-so-professional sound guy (aka lino) ... turned up the mix and totally drowned me out. bastard. 'twas fun none-the-less.

saw some people this weekend that i hadn't seen in a while. i.e. sean. hi sean.

well i have to go do stats now.

-the middle guy-

So it's almost Friday. I like Fridays. Although, it felt like Saturday on Wednesday. Mainly due to me boycotting class for the day. That is a way cool schedule. I mean 2 days school, one day off, 2 days school, 2 days off. Repeat. I can so get used to that.

But another 18 days of class and 2B is over. w00t i say. w00t. i can't wait. this summer is gonna kick.

so i'm gonna be living at keele and bloor again. so come visit. weeee...

hmm hockey game tonight. i am aiming for a hat trick ... again. lol. nah, i will just play my game and we'll see what happens.

anyways, i am 20 now. no more teenager-ness for me. my b-day was filled with cracks by my ex-boyfriend, joel, continually reminding me that i am no longer a teenager. meh. jen says 20 is hot. so there joel! neener neener neener!

1 hour and 5 minutes left.