this is going to bring up some (and by some i mean a lot) controversy. but what the hay ... here i go.

what a man says, and what he means:

"Can I help with dinner?" Really means....
"Why is dinner not on the table?"

"Yes, dear." Really means....
Absolutly nothing.

"That's interesting, honey." Really means....
"Are you still talking?"

"I help around the house." Really means....
"One time I put a towel in the laundry basket."

"I missed you." Really means....
"I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are missing, and we are out of toilet paper."

"I'm getting more exercise lately" Really means....
"The batteries in the remote are dead."

"Take a break, honey, you've been working too hard." Really means....
"I can't hear the game over the vaccum cleaner"

"She's intelligent." Really means....
"She can use a vacuum cleaner, a dishwasher, the washing machine, and the stove."

"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are." Really means....
"I'm lost. I have no idea where we are, and no one will ever see us alive again."

"We share the housework." Really means....
"I make the messes, you clean them up."